Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Session 8 Self Compassion: Everybody Makes Mistakes, Everybody Deserves Grace!
Your Host: Shyra DeJuan
Is challenging you to practice self compassion to love on yourself correctly after all the years of self inflicted emotional pain. Proper healing for self forgiveness is understanding that you have already suffered enough, you’ve already paid the price for what you've done, the fight within yourself is over now. Inner peace has won the fight within you. You have permission to Rewrite your new story. New chapter. You can start at chapter 1 or you can start the chapter at whatever age you are today. Come clean, come out, shift your identity, rewrite your story, give yourself grace! Live abundantly by practicing Self Compassion. To elevate your mind for health and wealth you must PRACTICE walking in your power of being a better human. PRACTICE Self Compassion daily, even if it's a small mistake. PRACTICE the action of Placing your hand over your heart and apologize for the mistake, apologize to yourself with the intention of positive reactions and change.
Holding your heart is a physical action of self compassion. Lets heal together!
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Book Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Kristin Neff: Teaching the Mindful Self Compassion Program
Rachel Johnson: Self-Love Workbook for Black Women: Empowering Exercises to Build Self-Compassion and Nurture Your True Self-Chapter 5 Discover Self Compassion
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All smiles champions. Welcome to mine. Elevation health and wealth. My name is Dhawan. I'm an emotional healer, educator and entrepreneur. Each week, we will dig deep into emotionally healing, all aspects of your life to increase your ability to create prosperity mind, elevation health and wealth allows you to elevate and shift into a growth mindset. Share each moment with me, I'm giving you permission to fulfill all of the unique desires of your heart judgment free shame-free guilt-free elements to heal your mind and body as you listen and consume the words of the session with no fear. Fear of loss champions if we heal together we'll be real together Embrace unconditional love and keep listening healing is health health is wealth you are here on purpose Session eight. Self-compassion. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody deserves grace. Listen and listen. Well champions whether you have faith in God, faith in the universe, or faith in self. For forgive yourself for the past by giving yourself compass. if you are perfect and have never made even the simplest mistake and you have never done anything that would be considered morally wrong, if you have never heard anyone even accidentally, this session is not for you. you can end this session and click on a different session for the perfect people. But I'm flawed in many ways, so I'm staying here. So those of you that are staying with me, when we practice having compassion for ourselves and compassion for others, we accept our flaws, accept everyone's flaws, allowing us to be connected by our imperfection. We must do this instead of creating a false sense of self-esteem by trying to feel like we're better than everyone else. No judging others, no shaming others. Remembering when we are real together, we heal together. In other sessions we've discussed how to heal from pain harm, that other people have caused you. it's important now for us to dedicate this session to only focus on the hurt you may have caused, the mistakes you may have made, the secrets and skeletons you have in your closet due to your pain. we are not making excuses or pretending it didn't happen. We are admitting our faults, confessing our sins, owning up to our mistakes. Looking deep into our insecurities, and recognizing lives we may have ruined, including our own lives that we may have ruined. I hope y'all are tuned in, in listening. Hello, is anyone. champions. It is so easy to talk about what someone else has done to hurt you. You can tell those stories with ease to everyone that wants to listen, but we are quiet and shy when it comes to talking about what we've done wrong. But today, even though I'm going to call many of us out, when I list some of the things that we are internally harboring, we will also understand it's needed in an effort to heal and practice self-compassion despite your faults, and give yourself grace, because we have all made mistakes, some the same, some different, but not one is greater than the other. So therefore, we cannot judge self-criticism blocks. Self-compassion. The language you speak to yourself matters. Whether these are thoughts in your head or things you say out loud. Practice removing self-criticism from your thoughts and from your speech. Unhealthy self-criticism sounds like this. I'm a bad person. I'm messed up bad again, I'm so dumb. I'm not as smart as I thought I was. I will never find love. I don't know why you chose me. I don't deserve this. Why me? Why did you pick me? Constructive self-criticism and self-compassion. Sounds like I'm a good person. I just made a bad decision. I will manage my behavior and not act out on impulse. I may not know how to do this, but I have the ability to learn. I will find love with the person I deserve. I was chosen because I'm worthy to be loved. You deserve to be optimistic about your future without feeling like you've done so much bad that you can't be redeemed. It's okay to admit you are unsure or don't understand certain situations or conversations. These are opportunities for you to feel compelled to increase your knowledge. Be open to grow, learn and change your behavior. Deescalate yourself. If you make a mistake, take a step back. Deescalate. do your own self hype talk to get yourself back in gear. Self-compassion by releasing insecurities of self-pity and self-hate look like. Number one, denial, suppression, guilt, shame, grudges, bitterness. Number two, judging yourself or past mistakes. Number three, the desire to suffer in pain for an excuse to give up. Number four, self-criticism and low self-esteem abuse. Number five. holding on to resentment due to self-sabotaging. Number six, self-destructive denial and unhealthy coping by a alcoholism and drug abuse. And number seven, always seeking revenge or retaliation. Proper healing for self forgive. It's understanding that you have already suffered enough. You've already paid the price for what you've done. The fight within yourself is over. Now, inner peace has won the fight within you. If you had to place the bet on the fight between self-destruction versus self-compassion, Today allows self-compassion to win the fight. Self-compassion allows you to be open and remorseful. The remorse you would give to someone else if you hurt them is the same remorse you should give to yourself for hurting them. This increases your chances of not repeating the behavior again. Recycling the pain. Again, remembering that apologizing is not just the words, I'm sorry, it's the act or not repeating the behavior. Again, a genuine apology is an action. An action of this will not happen again, and showing the person and showing yourself it will not happen again. If you are born black, you're automatically born into a world that has labeled you as less than not valuable, and that your life doesn't matter if you actually start to believe this, which unfortunately some of us do. It gives you a horrible sense of self-hate. Some people will disassociate themselves from their own race. Some people. Had light enough skin to pass for another race and denied who they were. Stay tuned in the future because I will be recording a session dedicated to colorism, but quickly stating now that this is a form of self-hate within any race, not just with. Suffering from feeling you are not enough due to negative cultural conditioning. All races have this form of suffering inflicted by family, friends, or society. You must love who you are because you can't change the skin color you are in, but you can love the skin you are. self-hate, self-pity, and self-destruction due to cultural conditioning is a real thing. If you can identify with this in any form of your life due to your race, it is time to understand why you must reteach yourself, that you are still lovable, you are valuable, your life matters, and you are not a threat. Step into self-love of who you were born to be without regret and resentment to being born the way you are. You are powerful. I just needed to get that out of the way first before we dive into discussing the things about ourselves that we actually do have the power we change. We cannot change how we were born. We cannot change, things that happened to us based on our race, our skin color, or culture, but we do have the power to change other things. So heal from that cultural conditioning if that's something that you've been struggling with. All right, let's. we remember our mistakes in full bright lights and forget all the great things we do or have done. So we beat ourselves up for our mistakes and refuse to reward ourselves for the great things we have accomplished. This happens because we feel as though everyone else is constantly aware of our mess up, or we may have someone in our life that constantly reminds us of our mess up. The truth is on a daily. Most of us do way more good than bad, even if the bad is done in the dark. But as the saying goes, what's done in the dark comes to light. In my opinion, it's better to let your own skeletons out the closet and shine your own light on your mess before someone else does. This is just my opinion, because I feel healing starts sooner when we confess. But that's just. be willing to go through the process of erasing your mistakes and highlighting your strengths. When you erase it, just like anything else, you erase, you see and acknowledge the mistake, you realize it isn't correct, you erase it and rewrite the correct thing. It is really that simple. You can also have someone proofread your mistake to confirm, then fix it. The best thing about it is that once it's erased and corrected, you can't keep going back trying to put it back again and, and think about it over and over and punish yourself for it again and again and ruminate at night before bed, and it keeps you tossing and turning it and it causes inso. all the things that happen when you keep replaying bad things in your head. Just erase it. It's over. Let it go. We are in a world of technology, so once you hit backspace and delete, pretend like you don't know where the undo button is. Delete, delete, delete. Abort. Abort. Cancel. Cancel false alarm. Rewrite your news story and omit your mistake. If you have ever been thrown into a leadership role, self-compassion will also allow you to lead with compassion and lead with empathy. If you are in a leadership role and you happen to get a rough start, you may have handled things in a manner that affected people negatively. It's okay to admit fault to your team and do a start over. Most humans are for. That's also the reason for this podcast. People are more forgiving to others than they are to themselves. Stop holding on to your rough start and making excuses to why things may not have gone as planned. You have the opportunity to restart with transparency, compassion, and building a great team as a. You may think you're being judged as a bad person, but in reality, the people you think are judging you to be bad actually think you're judging them. The negative energy of judgment will keep bouncing back and forth in a toxic environment until it is addressed and talked about in a constructive restorative setting with great communication. We all deserve the same type of grace. we think about all the bad people. We think about wardens and correctional officers. They're told not to build a relationship and get to know the inmates on a personal level because it makes the prisoner human and allows for the officer to grow compassion. But no. You don't want that in this setting, not in a prison. The goal is to dehumanize and punish in a prison. If you don't acknowledge their trauma and just judge the inmates from their wrongs, you can tear them down physically and emotionally with no remorse. If you actually get to know the inmates, you may accidentally find out what caused their behavior change and feel compelled to give them grace, which defeats the purpose of tearing them down instead of building them back up. The goal in a prison is not to restore. Someone is thinking, Yeah, but that's, that's a prison due to justice. They belong there and they deserve to be treated that way. However, let's not forget, most of them are prisoners because they got caught doing wrong, and we may have done something similar to those inmates, but just didn't get caught. The point is, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves restorative. The other truth is you have been treating yourself or others like unforgivable prison inmates that have committed mistakes that dehumanize and don't deserve forgiveness. You don't care to know what happened in their childhood, who hurt them on their life journey, who inflicted pain that caused a negative trigger. Your negative self-sabotaging thoughts are keeping you in a mental and emotional prison that I want you to break free from today. Anything that has caused you guilt, shame, embarrassment, or resentment, your mistakes have now become how you identify yourself in. Lashing out for pain, not even involving you. Having self-defeating beliefs hold you in a place of suffering. Even the smallest self-defeating thoughts can change your mood and your energy. Self-compassion helps you snap out of it. Self-compassion helps you see the goodness in yourself and voids out the bad. I created a list of mistakes. My goal with this list is to make all of our trauma and mistakes equal. Not. One example on this list is a greater fault than another. The whole list makes us all imperfect. The whole list also makes us all equal. The whole list reveals that we all deserve to be shown forgiveness, compassion, and be nurtured back into an abundant, loving healing. I want you to nod your head when I speak on your mistake or your mistakes, or your imperfections or your insecurities. Here we go. Cheating on your spouse. Cheating, while in a monogamous relationship, hooking up for sex and then ghosting them to boost your ego due to your insec. Ruined relationships with family members ruined a romantic relationship, ruined your own reputation, ruined your body and your health. By letting yourself go ruined your future goals, ruined your opportunity for a successful business. Had an abortion inflicted self-harm, not knowing who your child's father is, not knowing you have children somewhere in the world having an affair with a married. Illegitimate children getting fired, breaking someone's heart, bullying people or coworkers. Murder by self-defense, murder by manslaughter, harming someone in self-defense, harming someone to protect someone else. Being a victim of sexual abuse, being the sexual abuser, stealing and being a. Being an abandoned child, abandoning your child, abusing a child, abusing the elderly, abusing an animal, abusing your spouse, backstabbing a close friend, backstabbing a coworker. If you've always had a bad attitude. If you're a pathological liar, if you lie for attention, if you've lied to protect yourself or someone. if you're racist or have racist thoughts, if you negatively manipulate people, mistreating a child because of who their mother or father is, choosing a career you don't like and damaging the people involved, hating yourself because of your race, hating your own race, hating people just by being a hateful, mean, rude person. Holding on to a detrimental secret. I may not have spoke. I might not have walked down your street. I may have missed you, but you were still forced to internally reflect on your own mess. Embarrassment may be the reason you are hiding your trauma and holding your secrets. It's gonna be all right. This is me wrapping my arms around you, crying with you, and walking with you on this journey of self-compassion. I want to help you deep. Then decompress, then release yourself from the stress, self-compassion by releasing secrets. These are the skeletons in your closet. At this age 43, I actually released some skeletons from my closet and allowed me to heal. My closet is about empty now. I'm not trying to let anything back in my closet. I'm on a journey to live my life. Harmonious as possible, generating good karma, practicing a hemsa and healing those that are open to emotional healing. If you're holding on to a secret of a mistake you made and you never told anyone, you're causing yourself internal stress, which also causes major health conditions. It can also cause depression and anxiety. It can also lead to alcoholism or drug abuse. It can also lead to. people are on the outside wondering why you are self-destructing, but you can't be open and tell the truth because it will damage the already damaged. Let today be the day you release it for proper coping and healing. You have permission to confess and live free from the bondage without guilt or shame. You deserve better when you heal. Your story and testimony can be used to heal someone. Family secrets are just as detrimental to all the best friends out there. Hopefully this helps you too. One of my best friends once told me, she said, I have your back about anything and everything, but I'm not ever helping you hide or dispose of a dead body. She set the boundary immediately, meaning I'll keep all your secrets, but not if you kill someone. someone right now is mad at themselves for a mistake made in secret or a lifestyle kept in secret. mistakes or secrets that you only want a few people to know about, But if somehow your secret gets out, you blame everyone in your circle for your mistake. Getting out into the. You don't trust anyone. You hold a grudge with all the people that you involved. Relationships are broken. You are still broken. The cycle of self-destruction, resentment and pain begins and continues. Come clean, come out. Shift your identity, rewrite your story. Give yourself grace. Live abundantly by practicing self compass. I know the freedom of self-compassion because I said earlier, I held onto a life secret for over 35 years and finally released it to some of my family this summer at age 43. After crying together, after answering all those questions they had for me, discussing my truths, apologizing for holding it to myself for so long, I instantly felt the healing begin. It was no longer a. my secret was out. I involved my family because they're the first people I told. But they have the freedom of speaking it and talking about it for the possibility of other people's healing. It's time to come clean. Own up to your fault. Speak an out loud confession. Apologize to those close to you that you included in your. Release them from harboring, release them from holding onto your secret. It's your mistake. Allow yourself to heal properly with changing your immoral behavior, forgiving yourself, and once again, practice self compassion. Whew. Just speaking those words, release some tension from myself. I know that it can release tension from you as. Hey, you the champion for life changes. I'm challenging you to practice self-compassion, to love on yourself correctly. After all these years of self-inflicted emotional pain, you have permission to rewrite your new story, new chapter. You can start at chapter one, or you can start the chapter at whatever age you are today. My chapter, based on my age, would. I can start rewriting my story and I'm at the end of chapter 43. When you own and evaluate your secrets or mistakes, you become a master of your fate. Always strive to make people feel worthy and important for whatever big or small contribution they make. Have that same grace for yourself. Whatever you contribute, you are worthy and. If you can't laugh at yourself, you can't be of joy and happiness for others. If you can't trust yourself, you can't be loved or trusted by others. If you can't have compassion for yourself, you can't love and have compassion for others. Let's renegotiate our life terms. Recreate your beliefs. Allow yourself to be loved by life. Self-compassion allows you to love life and life to love you back in its purest, forgiving form. You're not. Unwelcome. You're always welcome at any place. You're not a no good, terrible person. You're a great and admirable person. You're not unworthy. You're so very worthy. You deserve the better you. In each session of my podcast, you will hear me use the word practice. I emphasize the word practice because practice means habitual or customary performance, meaning you are creating a. With your daily life performance, if I were to use the word start, anyone can start something, but then they can easily stop. For example, people will say, I started meditation and then I stopped. Those are limiting words. Using words like practice evoke a continuous effort to change. customary performance. If you practice meditation, it will become a habitual performance to elevate your mind for health and wealth. You must practice walking in your power of being a better human. Practice self-compassion daily, even if it's a small mistake. Practice the action of placing your hand over your heart and apologize for the mistake. Apologize to yourself with the intention. Positive change. Holding your heart is a physical action of self-compassion. I like to place my hand on my heart, or both of my hands on my heart to always remind myself of internal love and grace. Something about doing that just feels, it just feels good. It feels amazing. Each week, I promote authors and books that I've read. I recommend you to do your own research, increase your own knowledge, and embrace intelligence as a way of life. The expert in self-compassion research is Kristen Neff. She is a professor in the University of Texas at Austin's Department of Educational Psychology. She studied moral development. Kristen Neff's book is titled Self-Compassion, the Proven Power of Being Kind To Yourself. She is also the founder of the Nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. The book description. stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. She offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and more content fulfilled life. More and more psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving towards self-compassion in the treatment of their patients. Dr. NE's book offers exercises and action plans for. Every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living, some of those things that I listed on our list. If you are interested in using self-love workbook to continue your practice of self-love and self-compassion, the author Rachel Johnson has an awesome workbook for your journey to self-healing. Self-love workbook for women empowering exercises to build self-compassion and nurture your true self. And chapter five of her workbook is called Discover Self-Compassion. Be sure to click the links in my podcast notes to purchase and support the authors. Also click the link to support this podcast. I need the love to keep flowing. I need the support to keep flowing. So click on my podcast link to support, and it's called Buy Me a Coffee, but that's my support you are now a champion for healing and change. Here are four quick recaps of clarification and understanding. listen and listen well. Champions recap. One, you are acknowledging your flaws, mistakes and insecurities. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves grace. Not one morally bad thing is greater than the other. All mistakes are created equal. We can connect and build better as humans if we accept that we are all flawed. Recap. being your own worst critic, negatively self criticizing yourself will block your ability to have self-compassion. Be mindful of how you speak and think to yourself. Use constructive self-criticism instead of negative self-talk. This will allow you to love yourself more and heal yourself in relationships with others. Recap. Three. There is a long list of emotionally traumatic debilitating struggles in everyone's life. It is time to acknowledge the pain you have inflicted on yourself and others. There is a sense of relief and peace when you allow yourself to confess your wrongdoings. There is a beautiful freedom when you come clean with the truth of who you really are and who you will become. When you free yourself from false identities, you are worthy. Everyone deserves to free themselves from the mental prison of self-hate and self-destruction and self-sabotaging behavior. You deserve self-love, self peace, and self-compassion. Recap four, if you are harboring. Secret, or if you have required people close to you to hold your secret, now is time to free yourself and free them from your secrets. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you. Release the secrets, come clean. Let the skeletons out the closet and let the healing begin for you and for those close to you. Elevate your mind. Be open to health and wealth. Trust the healing process, sometimes healing hurts, but when completely healed you become a stronger. Wiser and amazing human. That was heavy. Let's relax and breathe. Breathe in love. Breathe out. Love. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in love. Share love. Now, share this podcast to help someone you love Transcribing... We are champions. We win together. Let's continue to connect. I've done all the talking, but don't forget. I'm also a great listener. So after listening to this session, you can release, respond, reflect, or open up and acknowledge your struggles. Let's start the healing process together. Record your voice. Or record a video and D M at to my Instagram at shy, the healer that's shy. S H Y T H E healer, H E a L E R. All one word. I will try to respond to all voice recordings and videos only, but if you want to write something. Write a review our comment and share this podcast. Champions you can support by clicking the link to donate and support in my podcast notes until then see you next. Healthcare sunday
