Session 10 Colorism: Embrace All Skin Tones

Your Host: Shyra DeJuan

Is challenging you to be open to change your internalized thoughts about light skin and dark skin. Correct your behavior as it relates to colorism! If you are an Ally for people of color know that your awareness matters!  We have all been guilty of judging ourselves or others based upon skin tone. Embrace All Skin Tones! When we are real together we heal together. It is time to practice a mind elevation and shift on our world view relating to people of color! We must see the beauty of dark skin, we must see the beauty of naturally kinky and curly hair, we must see the beauty of our full lips and wide noses. We must embrace our cultural natural beauty! The brain wash and white wash can no longer separate and divide us from loving ourselves. If you are an ally for the black community, understand that dark skin does not mean bad or evil or violent! We all exude the same peace, comfort and love! Please listen and celebrate Black History month!! 

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Transcript

0:02

Oh, smiles champions. Welcome to mind elevation health and wealth. I am your host Shire. An educator, emotional healer and entrepreneur for this month, we will be celebrating black history culture and how we can heal worldviews by being an ally by understanding, and by increasing our knowledge of blackness black ish and black excellence of Africans African-Americans after Latinos, we will learn across all cultures. We are all the same kind of different this. This session, we will explore colorism, not racism. Colorism. You are here on purpose. Session 10. Colorism and brace all skin tones. Listen and listen, well, champions, whether you have faith in God. Faith in the universe or faith itself, you have the power to promote self-love and change the lives for future generations or children that will be born into a world of color. If you've been negatively affected by colorism. If you have family members that have been negatively affected by colorism. If you have, or no children that have been negatively affected by colorism, this session is giving you the opportunity to understand what colorism is. Avoid unconsciously, making colorism comments, remove the internalized negative thoughts about skin color. And be aware of how colorism started due to classism, colonization, media, and television. And sometimes it started right in our own homes by our own family members and brands. First, we will start by listening to the testimonies of individuals of different ages and cultural backgrounds. I have to give thanks to the brave young men and women that agree to share their stories with us today. It, isn't always easy to share stories that may impact you or that have impacted you in a negative way or your loved ones in a potentially negative light. However, when you hear how these beautiful humans are doing the work, when it comes to encouraging teaching and promoting self-love to everyone, they meet, they embody what it means to be champions for life change and breaking negative generational cycles. Listen and listen. Well, My name is Q um, 25 years old. And I'm an African-American man. My skin tone. Brown. sometime in middle school, around 12, 13 years old. mainly black girls in middle school or the most. Uh, impacted by. Um, negative third is like, Midnight or burn biscuits. well, currently I'm an educator. Um, so it's, uh, some examples on the students now. so I've corrected them in the moment. And the future of just continuing to educate students on the points of. Uh, colorism and that all skin tones matter. All skin tones are beautiful. No matter what you look like. We're all beautiful black people. My name is Radika. I am 32 years old and I am an Indian woman. And I guess I would describe my skin tone as a medium. But the first time I realized that my skin color within my own race is a thing is. Well, there was several times when I was little. They. There were certain things I was told. Like don't be out in the sun too much, or like there were several activities like that it requires you to be outdoors and, especially as a woman. You were told not to be outdoors so much because the sun is going to 10-year, you're going to get darker. That was always the thing like, oh, don't play out so much. It. Pretty outside so much, like you're going to get darker. I never really understood, why was that an issue? When I was little, I really didn't understand like I thought of it as, okay. My, my mom told me not to go play outside for a long time that I'm not going to go play outside for a long time. And I guess I am going to get darker. I don't know. I never really thought about it. I guess until. I moved to us, I really saw like how, there are so many other, people here, and they appreciate. My color. And when I got here, there was so much curiosity questions about my skin color and my skin and where I come from and all that. And then I really understood like the beauty of it there was an issue. Even with my mom because my mom. is considered as a dark skin Indian, and she was always made fun of for that. And to the point that like, they used to call her a dark girl, like an as an insult per se. And she never really understood that herself. So it was, it's a very sensitive topic for her. And then, so when she had me, so she was very careful about, not having me. Spent too much time outside with the same concern yet again, like, oh, you're going to get darker. But I never really understood. Why was that an issue? Especially when I moved here. When I started to love my skin color, especially because there was so much appreciation for it. And then made me question her thinking and make her realize, like, why do you think, being outside in the sun or I'm going to lay out on the beach. Why is that going to be an issue? Like why. Why does ha it has to be that, oh, you're going to get darker. So what are you going to get darker? Like it's just tan. Right? and then I made her question, like, why is that a problem? Why is, but then she always links it back to her being teased for it, which she never realized why it was a thing, but. No, she is stuck in this, her own cycle as well, doing the same thing to me and not realizing how she was part of that. she wasn't in my shoes one day herself. So in order to, I guess, Bring awareness. Towards it is two. How people question, why do we think the way that we think sometimes. Because there are so many times that we have certain stereotypes within us or a bias that makes us believe in a certain thing, just because, that's what we have been told. And there's been times people just blindfoldedly follow what we have been, following for the long time or what we have been told or what we have been taught as a child. But we never really questioned it just because you was coming from our family. So, having these podcasts like this or interviews, or, you know, getting people to talk about this topic. Is going to be helpful and is one of, The solutions to an issue like colorism because a lot of it, if you really sit down and like, try to break it open is doesn't really make sense. So, Uh, name with some encouraging words is to be your beautiful self. And, every skin color is beautiful. Because that's how you are sent to this world. And appreciated and educate people, about. Their beliefs and correct them in the most decent way possible. I have took Kuwait, sheriff. I am a 43 year old. Black woman. I would say my skin complexion would be, more of a. Dark. Carmel complexion. I would say. Oh, I was very young. I would say elementary, maybe. Elementary age. Maybe first, second grade. Possibly younger. I realized that just by being more on the darker side, I would always get teased. Bye. The boys for not being as light as the next female. So yeah, it was a really young age. I would say one of my. Experience that really has. Stuck with me throughout the years. I've had plenty of experience that this particular one stuck with me throughout the years. With my sister and I. We were in. China. And. My sister had already lived there for probably three years and I went to visit. and she was taking me around the city of Beijing, sizing. And. Soon as we. Try to get on the train. My sister understood Mandarin very well. So when we were trying to get on the train, Everyone was staring at me. And they was talking to my sister said they're really amazed. And they're trying to understand. Because they never seen a dark skin. African American. Woman. And so she made a video of, individuals tripping while they were watching me because they they couldn't, they didn't understand it. And they will run up to me, take pictures of me or with me. And, we had a hard time trying to flag calves down because I was more dark skin than her. I had to actually step away from her so she could stop a cab. We were in the zoo. And it was a grand. Mother and her grandchild laughing at us. And I really didn't understand what was going on. So I was smiling and, you know, laughing back. Well, next thing I know my sister started, you know, my sister was really upset speaking in Mandarin, and then she began to speak English. Well, the grandmother was actually telling the little. Boy. He was probably about four or five years old. That we were, monkeys and we deserve to be in the cage with the. Dog. That was an occasion for us, which was, uh, supposed to be American dog, but it actually was a, German shepherd. But it was labeled American dog. And that was really sad and heartbreaking because the entire time my sister was trying to keep me away from the negativity that was really taking place when everyone was watching me and talking and running up, taking pictures with me. without my consent, it wasn't because they thought I was beautiful. It was because I was dark skin. I was a dark skinned African-American. And that will always stick with me, especially the grandmother telling the little boy that we were monkeys. And we were supposed to be in the cage at the zoo. With the dog. I try to always broadcast on my social media. a lot of do. You know, just all different. Races and, Shades of skin tones. And just, embrace all the beautiful things about each person and, how we're all different and unique and, we should never go by. The color of our skin to place judgment on someone, it's way more to a person and their beauty besides the color of their skin. I would, I would most definitely. Tell them you are beautiful. And as Tupac would say, the blacker, the Berry, the sweeter, the juice. Oh, My name is Ashley Smith. I'm 40 years old. And this is the first time I've been asked to describe my skin tone. Wow. I guess the whole life, everyone else has done it for me. Let me see, have you ever been to Hawaii? I went recently and one of the things that stood out to me was the color of the sand. Honestly, I was hoping for the bright white Sandy beaches of the Caribbean. But Hawaii beaches are different. It's more of a caramel brown. And if you look closely, you can see the small individual rocks that make it up. And they're all different shades of brown. That's me. That's what I'm going with today. A beautiful mixture of different shades in the closer you get, the more you're interested, the more you'll see. When I realized the color of my skin matter. Ooh, young, very young. I remember living in the Carolinas and having no friends, I was probably four or five. If you asked me, then I thought I had one friend, but if I was honest, I had none. Because even my one friend was flaky. I can't remember what it was. It made me aware that it had everything to do with my looks, but I remember I knew that was the reason. I also remember that my older sister who could pass for white had more friends than me. I wish I could say I've done something significant to stop colorism in my culture. I think the best work and maybe sometimes the most important work was on me. I evaluate how I see people. I recognize the stereotypes, even in my own community and how they might influence me. I'm trying to do better. I listened to people's stories and I do the hard work of showing empathy. I can't fix it. I can't fix other people, but I can at least not add to the problem. I'm so lucky to have a family, a beautiful family, many different shades. I guess like the Hawaiian sand. I have two beautiful step-daughters, one black and one biracial. I listened to their stories. Their sisters grew up with the same parents, but they have different experiences. I have a son who will always be viewed as black and he has a grandmother. Who's a hundred percent white. I'm going to have to help him navigate that. I have a nephew with the brightest blue eyes and curly blonde hair. And if we go by the drop role, he's black, but the world will treat him like he's white. I'll probably have to help my son understand that too. my name is Christian. I am 31 and I am a black woman. I was in middle school when I. Realized that I was affected by color at the time I didn't. Understand. I didn't understand what that felt like or what that looked like. But there is one specific instance that I can remember, being at about six or seventh grade. So I was probably around 12 or 13. that instance, as I look back, I can realize that is when I was actually affected by colorism. So six or seventh grade. I remember I would always play outside. I was just like an outside kid, riding bikes. Big tomboy loved doing, all the outdoor things. And one summer, I noticed that, I was out in the sun. I would go swimming. I was out in the sun a lot and my skin got very dark I am. Kind of, I'm just brown complected, not on a light-skinned spectrum night on the darker skin spectrum. I'm just kind of in the middle. Honestly. but during the summer, my skin does get really dark. And when I was younger, I remember noticing that after. Going swimming. And I was at my aunt's house, which is, shy the healer. My aunt is the person who is over this podcast, she actually ends up being a huge part of this memory. And I remember going into her restroom and I was in the bathroom. There for awhile. And I'm looking in the mirror and what I'm doing was I was scrubbing my face. I'm using soap and water, washing my face over and over again. Oh, man, it kinda makes me emotional thinking about this, but watching my face over and over again and scrubbing my face. Trying to lighten my skin up. because I did not think that being darker skin was beautiful. Just based off of the media information. That was put out there with the media. Publicized was, lighter skin or light complected. Or more, of. Characteristics of a white woman. Or even just white teenagers is what I saw. and even just being black, lighter skin women were in men. Were the ones that were typically seen as more beautiful. And so I'm just scribbling away Trying to lighten them, my skin and just, and I remember my aunt knocking on the door and she came in. And she's like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah. And she asked me what I was doing. And I was like, I'm scrubbing my skin because I'm too dark. Like, um, um, I'm just too dark in dark is not pretty. And she stopped me and she like looked at me really intensely. And it was like, black is beautiful. You are black is beautiful. Don't ever say that don't ever feel like your skin color, even if it is darker, whatever it is that your skin color is not beautiful because it is. And I remember that. I remember, having a conversation with her in her house. And her just reminded me of that. And I never forgot that day. and even when I would have those insecurities come up or even just, the summers where I get darker, and even now the summers where I get darker. I remind myself like black is beautiful. It comes in different shades. we had different shades of brown, black Chan. Whatever. And I just always try to remember that. and so now as an adult, What are trying to do, because I know how much that impacted me and I can see how media plays a huge role in this. Although, with social media, you see more representation with darker skin, women and men, being the. Illustration of beauty. And so that's been really cool, but what I'd still try to do, cause I still see that colorism come up, even in our community. I work a lot with, youth and teenagers and even young adults. And I try my best to when I see those conversations come up or when I seen. A young girl having insecurity about her skin tone. I always just remind them, you are beautiful, you know, like your curls are beautiful. Your color is beautiful. Your features are beautiful. fuller lips, bigger noses. like whatever it's beautiful. So I use that opportunity all the time. And then now I'm raising two young. beautiful boys that are a hundred percent black. And my husband is very fair skin with red undertone, some red hair. And we have two sons. one is five or he'll be five. And a couple of weeks. And then one is five months and, My oldest son. he's my complexion. And then my five month old is brighter than my husband with red hair. in red eyebrows. And so it's so cool to see how. genes can play a factor, play a role. but with me, having two sons that are a hundred percent black, same parents. But two very different skin tones. And I just always tried to instill in my four year old. How handsome he is. And he is a black boy and his handsome and his hair is curly and his skin is beautiful. And he'll say I'm black. I love my skin. I'm black and my mom's black. My dad is black. Not. My brother's black, you know, and just telling him, cause he'll ask like about his little brother he's like his skin is, is light. Is he still black? And I'm like, yes, he's black. So I'm just teaching him that we come in different shades, but they're all beautiful. And to be proud of what he looks like and the features that he has and I will be having that same conversation with my younger son when he realizes that he's more fair-skinned and has readier, and just having that conversation. That's one way that I'm trying to, really instill. And the next generations to come. Just. Debunking those negative thoughts. towards our skin color. And so I just want to encourage. just everyone in the black community that you literally are beautiful are black is beautiful. It comes in different shades, different. Shapes different hair textures. Different characteristics, different sizes, just everything. Like we are. Just so versatile. We are so beautiful. And we are honestly just amazing. I just want to hype everybody up, and just remind you that you are beautiful. You are made just the way that God created you. And that is perfect. And if you've ever been negatively affected by colorism, it's never too late to love yourself and see who you truly are. Love your color, love, even the experiences that you've gone through because they make you who you are. and they shape you and that you can pass on to the next generations and have them understand what it is. And to be strong through it. And I be, Negatively affected by it. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. So much love to y'all. As we listened to those testimonies. Some of you were probably forced to reflect on your own experience. One of the main reasons for listening to the stories of others is to learn. The similar challenges that we all face across cultures. Before I move forward. Let's go off of the vocabulary of some of the words you will hear being used the session. Colorism is defined as. Differential treatment based on skin color. It's specially favoritism towards those with lighter skin tone and Ms. Treatment or exclusion of those with a darker skin tone. Classism is defined as bias or discrimination based on social or economic classes. Examples of classes are upper-class rich or wealthy people middle-class above the poverty limit or lower class, poor and impoverished people. Colonization. Is defined as the action and process of settling and establishing control. Over the indigenous people of an area. Examples of colonization is European invasions and colonizations Africa. European colonization of Americas for the native Americans, European colonization, forced enslavement and human trafficking. Of Africans to the Americas. Those are all examples of colonization. I promise we will discuss how we are all the same kind of different or some like to say we are all more alike than different. I got that from a really great movie. I watched called same kind of different as me. I think it's based on a true story. I'm going to start by explaining how colorism is a cross culture issue. Based on my research. Let's travel to Asia. Asia and colorism. At its root colorism and the result in discrimination and bias, that is a result of colorism has its roots due to classism in Asia. Unlike the racist ideology, that was a direct result of the rationalism of slavery by Western European countries. Of Portugal, Spain, great Britain. Colorism in Asia came from the idea that lower wage workers had to work in the field and had darker skin as a result. Lighter skin people and Asians we're able to stay out of the sun and Asia. There is a deeply rooted cultural notion that. Associates, dark skin with poverty and working in the field. Whereas pill, skin reflects a more comfortable life. Out of the sun and therefore a higher social economic status and higher class. This was from an article published by Jessica. Hawaiian August of 2020. You heard the testimony of, to Quita and her experience traveling to China. Historically China already has a negative view of dark skin in their own culture. But based on the lack of knowledge about other cultures to see an African-American with even darker skin was viewed as animalistic, which resulted in dehumanizing an innocent young woman, such as to Quita. Let's travel to India. India and colorism. Some historians say colorism in India was greatly intensified by colonization of the British. It was a practice by the British rulers to show favor to the light-skin Indians for government jobs, preferences for light skin toned. Over dark when it came to marriages. And most of the jobs. Are still affecting the lives of hundreds of thousands of Indians. This was an article by Samir Yessir. And Jeffrey gentlemen. And June 28th, 2020. As we heard radical story and testimony as an Indian woman and the struggles her mother went through as a young Indian child. Faced with the teasing of being in darker skin, Indian. Let's travel to Latin America. Latin America and colorism. Before the arrival of Europeans in the region of Latin America, many indigenous people where Mayans. Then later, both the Spanish and the Portuguese brought African slaves to the colonies as laborers to work. This caused the creation of Afro Latinos, which are individuals of Latin American descent who are also of African ancestry. Same cycle a favor to the lighter skin, Latinos and discrimination to darker skin Latinos. There is an article published November 4th, 2021 that states the majority of Latinos say skin color impacts opportunity in America. And shapes daily life. When you add colorism in class, there are Latin American politicians like Marco Rubio, who was a Republican Senator in Florida. We have to wonder, would you have made it that far in his career? If he had darker skin as an Afro-Latino, if his skin was darker, he would not pass for white. Can he really fully represent the Latin American culture here in America with Latin America and classism visibly? If you can pass as white, it is a complete. Eraser of dark skin in the Latin American culture. The ratio of dark skin causes people to question when an Afro Latino or a dark skin, Hispanic is actually speaking Spanish, even though Spanish is their native language. Let's travel Africa. African and colorism. Due to colonization television and media in Africa. Skin bleaching and skin lightening creams are number one full product in Africa, most commercials and advertising portrays white or lighter skin women and men, most acting jobs and roles are given to lighter skin, men and women. So the idea that lighter skin is beautiful and it also offers more opportunities in an article published on March 10, 20, 20 by Lynn and Thomas. Uh, Somali American activists. She scored a victory against Amazon and against colorism. The beauty, well, project teamed up to convince Amazon to stop selling skin lightening products that contain toxic levels of mercury. Africans were going to the extremes of using toxic products to lighten their skin. This has been shaped overall by white supremacy and institutions of racial, slavery, colonization, and segregation class engender. Let's travel to the United States of America. Colorism. Is due to colonization and slavery. It started on the plantation. African women were kept and used as concubines, which means they were being used and abused for sexual purposes by their white enslavers. This would result in pregnancy, the child will be born as what they called back then. meaning with both black and white race. Today, we simply say by racial, oftentimes this child would have a lighter skin tone, which also means this child is most likely being slaver or masters' biological child commonly. Although this child is born into slavery, this child will receive privileges that other. All black flames did not receive this child was allowed to live in the big house. Sometimes when these children will become adults, the master would allow them to become overseers. Also known as the enforcers of their own enslaved family. Imagine being the mother to an all black slave child working in the fields. And also the mother to a biracial child that has housed in boss, like privileges. How do you wrap your mind around that? However, when mothers realize that if they're light-skinned children could possibly pass for white and be a free human, like any mother you want the best for your child, right? But this is also where the love and hate of light and dark skin colorism started taking place within our own community on the plantation. The dark black enslaved Negro was mistreated and only capable of working in the hot sun in the field. Only able to eat what's left over from the pig, which would only be pig intestines. And then there is the light-skin uppity Negro that works inside the cool house, the big house with the privileges of working in the kitchen and eating other portions of food and sleeping on the inside. Instead of out in the slave shack, they had options. They either embrace their so-called good life as a light-skin relative of their master with the potential to possibly pass and be free. Or they have the option to shine their dark skin, brothers and sisters that needed to keep working in those fields for the master. The stress of a mother born into slavery sexually assaulted regularly, and then have to watch our children be separated by color and class no longer United. Hence the term. United we stand divided. We fall. It is safe to say that colorism affects the whole world. Not only do people have to worry about being a person of color. They also have to worry about the shade. Of their color. Then you add in skin color with a kinky hair texture, skin color with a larger body size skin's color with larger lips, skin color with the larger nose, skin color with eye color. I get exhausted. Just thinking about how deep the level of colorism drives us immediately into judgment and hating our God given features. Michael Jackson and the whole Jackson family that liked their skin and decrease the size of their nose. OJ Simpson's dating. I'm not black. I'm OJ. Does the associating himself due to social class? Then time magazine, dark, and his skin on the cover of the magazine when he was being charged with murdering his wife. Barack Obama skin was darkened during the election by Hillary Clinton's campaign ads with dark and his skin on purpose, knowing the influence and worldview of dark skin, blacks. Back in 1947, the famous photographer, Gordon parks captured a photo of a little black American girl pointing to the white doll. When she was asked to point to the pretty doll. This test is known as the doll test, her young mind was already led to believe that white and light are pretty as a, her dark skin was not. This test led to school integration, brown vs. Board of education, demanding racial integration of American public schools. I remember in high school, around the year of 1996. A friend who was dark skinned, black young lady. Made the comment. I want my babies to be mixed, so they have lighter skin and good hair because I want my kids to be pretty. I was instantly triggered. By my childhood of having a mixed race sister. And the pain that was unknowingly and unconsciously inflicted on me. When grownups was saying things to my father, like. Are those young children referring to my little sister and I. This one. Pointing to, or picking up my little sister. This one is so pretty. She's so pretty. Got that good hair too. Their mind her so much, they nicknamed her sunshine. They never call me ugly. They just showed me what pretty was supposed to look like. And unfortunately it wasn't me. At age nine. I knew the definition of beautiful and that definition was light skin and long loose curly hair, not the tight nappy curl like mine. I was teased often about my nappy ball here. And just recently at the age of 43, decided to release myself from weaves and hair extensions. I'm now wearing my natural locks, praising myself for self-love and overcoming the insecurities of my skin and hair texture. I'm celebrating the wins. Y'all. Anyways. I internalize that since my skin was darker and my hair nappy here, I was not the beautiful child. She also had privileged with being pretty. They will give her a candy ask if they can take her places. I was not even seen or noticed. I will be right next to her staring and admiration, wishing that I could be adored. That was the start of my low self-esteem. I don't blame any of the adults in my life. I've never envy. My little sister, I always admired her beauty. I just hated myself and wanted to change the color of my skin and the texture of my hair. I remember hearing comments about other little girls, like she's dark, but at least she got good hair. But at that time, I didn't have what classified as good hair. I didn't even have the genetic jackpot that my little sister had. I don't blame my father because he didn't even know how it was affecting me. He didn't even know he should have corrected the other adults. He didn't even know that he should have reminded me that I was also just as beautiful as my sister. Colorism was never acknowledged, understood or addressed. I don't even think colorism was a word that was spoken back in the eighties. After listening to the testimonies earlier in this podcast, we are already seeing mindset shifts against colorism because in the past. I remember black folk would deliver their child, have their baby and check the color of their baby's fingertips. Just hoping they were not dark because of the tips were a lot darker than the rest of the baby's body and meant the baby would be a dark child. There used to be a brown paper bag rule in the south, meaning people shouldn't date other blacks. If their skin was darker than a paper bag. There was a one drop rule. Meaning if you have one drop of black blood in you, you are considered black. If you were passing as white and got caught. You could be murdered. And anyone else that knew you were really black will be murdered. Also, there are still black male and female women that are living in the white world as passers and have completely denied and erase their true identity and blackness. Hey, you. The champion for life changes. I'm challenging you to be open, to change or internalized thoughts about light skin and dark skin. You know, you have been guilty of judging yourself or others based upon skin tone when we are real together, we heal together. It is time to practice a mind, elevation and shift on our worldview, relating to people of color. We must see the beauty of dark skin. We must see the beauty of naturally kinky hair. We must see the beauty of our full lips and why noses. We must embrace our cultural, natural beauty. The brainwash and whitewash can no longer separate into bite us from loving ourselves. If you are. An ally for the black community, understand that dark skin does not mean bad or evil or violent. There has been a misconception that colorism is someone being insecure about the color of their skin. The truth is colorism can cause insecurity. However, it is a real discrimination that can promote an internalized self hate and inferiority. Based on our research and knowledge. We now know. Colorism is designed. And systematically structured to divide and conquer in many different countries, including the United States, bringing awareness and correcting colorism comments. We are here to disrupt the systems of oppression. As you heard into Quita story, darker humans are sometimes compared to animals and other cultures also being teased as a young lady for being darker than other black American girls. Or as you heard in Q story, when he talks about how as a young boy, he would hear. Darker skinned, young black girls being talked about and called names like midnight or burnt biscuit. As you heard in radical story and her Indian culture as a young woman being told to avoid going outside with the threat of becoming darker. A projection of her mother being teased for being a dark Indian girl. As Christian and Ashley state and their stories of colorism, they have young boys, they will teach to love their skin tone and teach them to navigate conversations and comparisons relating to family members and all the beautiful genetically defined shades of skin tones. We will do better. We must do better and we have to teach and promote. The beauty of all skin colors. Each week. I promote a book. And Arthur. Is that have impacted my life and helped me heal by increasing my knowledge and awareness of experiences. Outside of my own. Years ago, I read the book called the darkest child by Dolores Phillips. And this historical novel Delores Phillips sets the scene in Georgia in the 1950s. The story is centered around a poor 13 year old young African-American girl. That happened to be her mother's darkest child to a mother that would pass for white. Because she was the darkest of her siblings, her mother mistreated, abused, and sold her daughter's young 13 year old body to white men for six. Reading the injustice is shown in her own home between her siblings just tugged at my heartstrings so much that even though the book is full of trauma and sadness, I could not stop reading because I wanted to get to the antici. If she was victorious in her life. I won't tell you the end. You should purchase a book and read it. The link is in the podcast notes. I also want to promote Dr. Sarah L web. She has created a self-affirmation book, a children's coloring book and workbook, and she has a blog and website called colorism and healing. Dr. Web addresses, what it really takes to in colorism and courage and honesty by being able to discuss the controversial issues relating to colorism, because we have to be open and honest to admit that within our own race, we have hurt others mistreated. The others have been prejudged to others and sometimes our own children and family with negative colorism comments and remarks, she stays at it takes whole families and persistent action over time to make these changes. We can't act like colorism doesn't exist or that it still isn't happening in our cultures and communities. You are now a champion for healing and change. For quick recaps of clarification and understanding. Listen and listen. Well, Recap one, understand that colorism affects people of all colors. All cultures all over the world. It takes every one of us to acknowledge that it is real. And to start addressing it in our homes and in public. It always start with healing yourself. First, if you are a light-skinned person. Correct people that use your light-skinned as a compliment as if dark skin peers are not just as beautiful. If you are dark skin, correct people that make comments like you're pretty for a dark skin girl, or you're pretty to be or handsome to be a dark skinned man. Remind them that all skin colors are beautiful. Recap to stop using the favorable filters that make your skin color and eyes brighter. Embrace your skin tone on your social media pages. I stopped using filters about three years ago, I embrace no filter. Please stop using foundation makeup. That's lighter than your actual skin color. We see the color of your neck. We love the color of your neck. Recapped three. Stop stating your preferences in men or women. I only gave dark skin. I only date light skin when it is strictly related to behavior men. Our men, women are women. The color of their skin does not actually determine how they behave in a relationship. Stop it stop the stigma that dark skinned men and women are bitter insecure and lovable or hateful. Now this excludes attraction. Recap for stop comparing your children based on their skin color. And don't let others judge or make comments about your children based on their skin tone hair, texture, or looks. If they compliment one child, they need to compliment all of your children, redirect and students or young people's negative comments. When you hear young adults negatively insult other young adults with comments like youthful black, or name-calling installs like burnt biscuit or black as tar headaches. Correct. And redirect immediately to remind them that their black is beautiful. This type of teachable moment can change a whole generation of our future humans. Champions for life change. This is our time. This is a way that we can celebrate black history month by embracing. Who we are all over cultures, whether it's black, whether it's African, whether it's Afro-Latino, whether you're Asian. Whether your. Black and Asian, whether you're, Indian, whether you're a dark skin, Indian would have for your race. What ever your skin tone colorism is real and it takes us. And this generation of young adults to change it. Before I close. I want to give a shout out and thanks again to. The beautiful souls that shared their testimony. Too. To Quita. Radica. Ashley. And Christian. There would've been more, but we ran out of time to get those testimonies in. But you are truly appreciated and the work and sacrifices that you're making in the way that you're raising your children and the way that you're being an educator and the way that you're projecting, the sense of beauty on your social media pages. and the way that you're even acknowledging and challenging your own parents' belief about their skin color, those are all successful ways of fighting for justice for colorism. Thank you all again. You all are champions, and I'm so grateful to have each and every one of you in my life and your willingness to participate in something so personal and so deep on this level. You are appreciated Elevate your mind. Be open to health and wealth. Trust the healing process, sometimes healing hurts, but when completely healed you become a stronger. Wiser and amazing human. That was heavy. Let's relax and breathe. Breathe in love. Breathe out. Love. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in love. Share love. Now, share this podcast to help someone you love I enjoy. interacting with my listeners. Click the support link in the podcast notes to donate and support. See you next self care sunday