Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Session 14: Healthy Communication Master Listening and Be Heard
Your Host Shyra DeJuan is challenging you to increase the success of your business, become a stronger leader, parent and romantic partner by shifting your mindset to a stronger communication style. Learn to master the art of listening with the intent for a positive reaction, while being seen and heard. The more compassionate you become as a listener, the more others will mirror your behavior to listen, see and hear you. It is a reciprocal value to build rapport and connection. Listen to the 5 healthy communication and listening tips to empower and practice. Learn how to properly ask clarifying questions to receive an appropriate response for clarification and understanding. We will also discuss the concept of hearing emotions that may not be directly spoken to you. If you or someone you love can’t seem to get over a continuous argument, it is a strong possibility that someone is just not listening with the correct intent to heal! Listen and Listen WELL CHAMPIONS!
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All smiles, TMP. Champions welcome to mind, elevation health and wealth. I am your host, Shira DeWine, an educator, emotional healer and entrepreneur. Each week, we will dig deep into emotionally healing, all aspects of your life to increase your ability to create prosperity. Mind elevation health and wealth allows you to elevate and shift into a growth mindset. Share each moment with me, I'm giving you permission to fulfill all of the unique desires of your heart judgment free shame-free guilt-free elements to heal your mind and body embrace, unconditional love and keep listening. Healing is health. Health is wealth. You are here on purpose Session 14 healthy communication master listening, and be heard. Listen and listen well champions, whether you have faith in God, faith in the universe or faith in self healthy communication styles and listening skills are extremely powerful for healthy human connection. To create wealth in a business to be a successful leader and to master listening. Do you hear me? Yes. You heard me loud and clear. This session is full of some jewels that I'm actively working on and practicing daily. Please, don't forget to click on the donate and support link in my podcast notes to donate a dollar,$1 to my podcast, all donations will be used toward my mind, elevation health and wealth retreat that I am in the process of planning to show appreciation to my dedicated podcast listeners. Also, don't forget to give me a five star review that helps promote the podcast. We made it through 14 sessions together and we are not. Going to stop. We have too much healing to do sending love and peace to you all. Be the listener with intent for positive reaction. And we'll take conscious thought and habits to change your listening style, but it is best to start with person that you have the most disagreements with as a champion for life change. We practice new behaviors that will create positive change. If you have a desire to be in a leadership role in the future, or to become a stronger leader. Practice being an amazing listener. If you plan on owning your own business in the future, or you want to become a more successful entrepreneur. Practice being a great listener. Just building stronger connections with people in your life that you love and care for you. Desire to be a better spouse, a better lover, a better significant other. A better parent to your children. These listening skills to practice in your life will guarantee that your mind will elevate and success will increase. Disconnected disappointed, depressed, stressed, and many failing relationships. Complain about these things. I don't feel seen. I'm not being heard. I'm never have a voice. I'm so misunderstood. Let's think about this. All of these things are directly related to the impact of someone close to them, whether it is at home school work. Or in a business. Important relationships, even the word relationship equals how we relate to others, how we connect with others, how we build rapport with others, create meaningful relationships with people you may not even agree with just by listening to their views openly because listening deeply can also allow understanding for people that don't feel heard. My views and values are extremely strong. My close friends and family know how strong my values are, but I also have an extremely diverse group of friends. I'm an ally for all but. As I get older. I've been opening to listening openly and learning about other values of my friends and their views. I may not agree with their views. However, I will listen and understand without judging them. That is not how I used to be. I always be transparent in my podcast about my growth and about my level of growth. I'm telling you, I have not always been this way. I used to be the type of person that avoided you. If I don't agree with you, I didn't care why you had your views. I didn't even care to listen to your point of view. I would tune out your voice when you would talk, because I was ready to rebuttal about why your view was wrong. And my views were right. Now. I actually take time and ask more clarifying questions about why they have their specific view. And a lot of times now I realize, although I have a different view on a topic, when I asked that person to explain deeper on their purpose, Most of the time, our purposes are aligned for the same reason, but just opposite sides of the view. Which allows us to agree to disagree respectfully. So that's one of the things I had to practice when I became a better listener, but I also realize most people are not used to someone with opposite views wanting to really ask clarifying questions. So sometimes I have to actually say, I'm not asking you these questions to be rude. I'm actually asking you these questions because I really want to know why you feel so strongly about your view. The reason I have to say this is simply because they're already a war mode for rebuttal because unfortunately. We as people have learned to always be in defense mode. I'm challenging my champion today to practice coming out of defense mode when listening and listen with an open heart and intent to learn and intent, to grow and intent, to respond with compassion and understanding. When I tell you, I know that it's hard to do, but I've done it and I'm still practicing it. It is possible. I've spoken about this before in other podcasts that we all have differences and disagreements. However, we are all more alike than different. We are the same kind of different. We all have a strong desire to feel seen, be heard, have a voice and feel understood. We will also learn the power of actually hearing emotions. Yes. I said, hearing emotions, keep listening and I'll explain how it works. But first I will quickly discuss ways to master listening as a parent master listening in a romantic relationship, master, listening in a leadership role and mastering listening as a business owner and entrepreneur. In parenting. As a parent, you must model listening with love. Or you take the risk of losing your child. Our children's mental health is so important. Sometimes as a teacher, I'm the first adult that has actually taken the time and listened to a student one-on-one. Over the years, I'm becoming a better listener as a teacher, mainly because I now understand many teens and young adults are suffering from mental health concerns. As an educator, one of my students, number one, concern about their parents. Is. My parents don't listen to me and they don't care about my feelings I'm not seen or heard at home. Parents or future parents. This may sound extreme when I say this, but when you don't allow time to openly listen to your child, this is a form of emotional abuse and neglect. Your child will not feel valued and this can cause future insecurities and negative effects on their self-esteem and self-worth, I'm challenging all parents. Even if you have an adult child now. Take additional time. Apologize for not being a great listener as a parent when they were younger and asked her adult child, if they are willing to allow you to practice listening now. In an attempt to build a new, stronger adult relationship with your child. This can actually create an amazing healing effect between you and your adult, child, or children. It is never too late to elevate your mind for positive change as a parent, your children deserve the better you, whether they're adults or not, because you will practice listening with the intent for a positive reaction. Your children, these are of that. And romantic relationships with your spouse, life partner, or significant other in a long-term marriage. You already know what your spouse is thinking before they say it. You already know what they are about to do before they do it. In fact, y'all got into an argument just the other day. And one of you even said, I knew he was going to bring that up. You always bring that up. You say that every time we argue. Well people, I have to be the one to tell you Yani counseling to heal from the past or this argument circle will continue over and over. But that isn't what this session is about. This session is about mastering listening. So go back and listen to mind. Elevation health and wealth session number six, which is called the five values of healthy, loving relationships. Please listen to that with your partner, figure out if you all are still aligned with your fights and fights is an acronym for financially, intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you are still aligned, then it is worth learning to respectfully and actively listen to each other with intent, for positive reactions, the. The best way to actively listen in a romantic relationship is to allow your partner to finish their complete statement and thought without making a negative assumption before they finished talking. This may be extremely difficult to change, but I have faith that if you genuinely love that person, you will be open to change and let them finish their thoughts without interrupting. Put your phone down, turn the TV off and listen to them with the ultimate and extreme intent to allow them to finish. So you can prepare for your positive reaction to their statements. This will actually shorten the whole conversation. So men and women, if you are tired of having the same argument over and over, and it seems to still be going on for months now. This listening technique. We'll actually end it. I promise you police try it. The only reason the argument keeps going on and on is because the other person feels like you are not listening to them because you interrupt every time they try to explain their thoughts. Your mind defaults back to the negative rebuttal instead of the openness to listen. They don't ever feel like they finish their thought. Allow your partner to completely finish their thought. As you actively listen with an open heart to prepare for a positive solution to the disagreement misunderstanding or their emotional stress. It is the hardest thing for partners to do. And this also happens with parenting relationships. It happens with long-term friendships and in close work relationships. However, with your romantic partner, it just seems to be the worst ever. Okay. Heal from it and free yourself by mastering your listening skills and being heard. Leaders at work. How well do you generally know the people you work with? The number one way to lose your employees is if your employees don't feel valued because they don't feel as though their views ideas. Are important to their leader. Even when they have goals of increasing company goals and missions, you want your employees to be satisfied, even though you can still set reasonable boundaries. Be open to listen to complaints and concerns of your employees to increase positive morale in the workplace. Many times people just want their supervisor to listen to them and express the value of their concerns. Even if changes can not be made. And Paul, I just want you to listen. For example. If the word complaint is, I love what I do on my job. However, the supervisors don't praise us when we do well, but they always write us up. If we do something wrong. One small mistake, boys out all the previous hard work that I did. A supervisor that listens won't think you just don't want to be written up. A true supervisor listener will say. I will make sure that we highlight praise and reward you regularly in meetings. We value you all as employees. This doesn't mean employees won't get written up if a mistake is made, but it does mean you heard their complaints and will also show positive appreciation more than only negative discipline. Or you make and take the extra time to highlight the good in your employees to keep them satisfied and allow them to feel valued, seen and heard because you listen with intent for a positive reaction. Entrepreneurs and business owners. How well do you genuinely know your customers or clients? Many businesses fail because the owner is not able to connect with their clients needs and desires. Your energy and your listening skills to the client holds the strongest value to keeping your client and for them to send you more customers. For example. If you provide a product or service that many other businesses offer. So you have a lot of competition, you have to decide how to make your product or service better or different. One of the number one ways successful large companies get brand loyalty and highest sales is simply because they listen to and cater to their client's desires. This is why reading reviews are so important to a business owner. If you read a review and a client states. I love the service. However, there's a long wait time. I had to stand up in line for a long period of time and I have lower back pain. If you were the owner and you read the review and don't actually listen to your customer, you will eventually lose that client due to their health concerns, but an owner that actually listens will reply to the review and say, Thank you for supporting my business. Due to your review. We have installed comfortable chairs in the waiting area. Now for clients that have issues with waiting in long lines. Thank you so much for your review. The next time you come, you will have a comfortable seat waiting for you. I value you as a client. Notice. The owner didn't get offended by the complaint of the long wait time. The owner listened and provided even greater service to a client that is willing to wait for their service. The client feels value heard and will remain dedicated. This client will also show at least three family members, the response you made to their review, potentially three new clients just by listening and valuing your client because you listen with the intent for a positive reaction. As promised. I said we would discuss. The power to hearing motions as humans. We have the power to hear emotions. Notice. I said, we can hear emotions. Have you ever taken the time to hear a loved one's emotions? I noticed this. It's a gift I'm learning to do. The more I practice being a better listener. This is when someone may not directly speak or tell you their emotions, but you can intuitively hear their emotions by opening your heart to hear their real emotions. There may be some scientific term for this, but I just don't know what they would call it. So we're just going to call it, hearing emotions. Let me explain. We can hear fear without dismissal. Someone you love has a fear of something that you may not fear. They may not openly say. I'm afraid to live alone or I'm afraid to live by myself. They may say. I'm working towards getting my own place. It's just not working out right now. Don't dismiss their fear by shaming them. Really listen and assist with solutions to help manage their real fear of living alone. Later, when they feel more comfortable. Actually ask them that question. Do you think you might have a fear of, of living alone? Let's talk about it. And why you've heard their emotion without dismissing. Their fear. We can hear pain. Without inflicting more pain. Someone, you know, is in emotional pain. They might not openly say I just put on this hard person mask or this power move at work because I've been hurt or be little before at other jobs. Don't inflict more pain by viewing your coworker as an asshole on a power trip. Offer ways to help or comfort. They may genuinely be a great person under a lot of work stress, and under a lot of emotional pain, you don't know what brought them to this power trip. You don't know what. What made them behave the way they're behaving. To coworkers. We can hear anger without igniting more anger. Someone you love may be withdrawn, ignoring or avoiding you. They may not openly say you did something to me that made me angry and I'm going to avoid you. Don't ignite more anger by yelling at them and causing an argument or a fight. Open your heart and say, You may not be ready to talk right now. If I've done something to make you angry. Talk to me about it when you're ready. I'm apologizing in advance. Give that person time to eventually express the anger that they're withholding from you. Champions. I learned to hear emotions. If they are not directly spoken to you, some people don't know how to openly express how they really feel, but you have to tap into your emotional intelligence to hear their emotions without dismissing, inflicting. Or igniting a negative response. Hey you, the champion for life changes. I'm challenging you to increase the success of your business. Become a stronger leader, parent and partner by shifting your mindset to a stronger communication style by mastering the art of listening with the intent for positive reaction while being seen and heard, the more compassionate you become as a leader. The more compassionate you become as a listener, the more others will mirror your behavior and listen, see, and hear you. It is a reciprocal value to build rapport and connection. Remember to follow these healthy communication techniques and listening tips. Listen, well, tip number one. When having an important conversation with someone. Make sure there are no distractions. Eliminate all distractions. They deserve your undivided attention. No TV distractions, the television should be off electronic devices, laptop, iPads, tablets, AirPods, smartwatches should be turned off. Cell phone distractions. Cell phones should not only be off, but they should not even be in view or site because when the phone is still visible our subconscious mind still believes there will be an alert to come through. And it's still a distraction psychologically. Do not start speaking to someone while they are on their phone texting. Patiently wait until they are finished, or just say, I don't mind waiting until you're finished on your phone before we talk. To be a solid, deep listener. Your cell phone should not be insight. It should be hidden in a pocket or turned off. It should not be sitting on the table. It should not be an eye view of a screen lighting up there should not be any alert. Sounds. Listen, well, tip number two. Make eye contact the issues to be so hard for me to do it can be uncomfortable looking at someone in the eyes while they're talking, but with practice, it helps you connect with the person you're talking and listening to keep in mind. You don't have to stare extremely hard nonstop occasionally. It's okay to look away, but just let the person know. You're listening by making eye to eye contact. Occasionally. Listen, well, tip number three. Be open to allow others to give you more details. This actually makes others feel like you care. Our listening skills are extremely powerful and owning and operating a business. As we discussed earlier, if a client has a genuine concern, their concern could be a multimillion dollar positive change for your business. Listen to your clients. You may think your business is running perfectly until a client has a brilliant idea for you based on one of their concerns or complaints. This is how Huggies ended up making. Pull-ups a stressed. Out mother was potty training her toddler and wrote a complaint letter to Huggies about how she wasted diaper. Every time our toddler had to use a restroom and she wanted a diaper that was able to pull up and down because she wasn't ready to keep washing regular underwear. Instead of Huggies thinking, we can just keep making you waste money by buying and wasting diapers. They added a multimillion dollar new product line that parents have grown to buy and love called pull-ups. So not only do they have one product diapers that people have to have. They also have another product that people have to have. Don't miss your opportunity to pull up, listen to your customers with intent, for positive change and reaction to grow your business. Listen, well, tip number four. As clarifying questions with intent to understand completely. A clarifying question is use based upon your discussion to avoid confusion or misunderstanding. It helps avoid negative assumptions. Clarifying questions, sound like this. This seems important to you. Can you explain why it's important by using examples? Or this. Why is the view you have so important to you? I really want to understand your thoughts right now. Or this. When you said I pissed you off. What exactly pissed you off? I really want to correct the behavior. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want you to be pissed off. Practice intuitively tuning into others to listen with compassion. And internal peace, avoid listening to only prove your own point. Avoid listening, just to come back with a strong rebuttal or a negative snapback. This happens when you assume to already know what the other person is about to say. This happens when you already feel like, you know, their view. Even if they haven't fully expressed their true concern, allow them to finish their thoughts and concerns. Listen, well, tip number five, make sure the life you are leading is the life you desire for others. Mirror the behavior you desire. If you want people to actively respect and listen to you, you must actively respect and listen to others. I promise by practicing this healthy communication style you can master, listening and be heard in all aspects of your life. Each week I promote a book and author that has impacted my life or helped me heal by increasing my knowledge and awareness of experiences outside of my own. There are so many books written by many different authors and psychologists on the power of listening, the art of listening, how to be a better listener, how to listen, hear and validate. There are so many. But practicing being an active listener actively in the present with someone you love is the best way to master it. But if you're a person that has been negatively affected, because you have never been allowed to share your voice, you never feel seen, or you just don't feel heard. There's an amazing book written by the author. Tuneday OANN called speak. Find your voice, trust your gut. Get from where you are to where you want to be in this book. Tuneday uses the acronym speak. S P E a K. The S is for surrender. P is for power. E is for empathy. A is for authenticity and K is for knowledge. Tuneday shares the lessons she has learned about loss, love, body image, and how she has successfully created an intentional, joyful life for herself. Offering an accessible blueprint for anyone looking to make a positive change in their lives and positive behavior. If you're wanting a great quick read that empowers you to find your voice and trust your gut, click the link to purchase her book in my podcast notes below. You are now a champion for healing and change. When we are real together, we heal together. If you're like me and you want to make a life change by making grocery shopping easy. I shop using Instacart and I get my groceries delivered in as little as one hour. This comes in handy as I'm making my plant-based recipes. Save yourself that trip to the market. Instacart delivers groceries in as fast as one hour. They connect you with personal shoppers in your area to shop and deliver groceries from your favorite stores. Click on the link in my podcast notes and get. Free delivery on your first order. Over$35. Champions also remember in order for me to keep this podcast going to continue healing and helping with mental health for mind, elevation, please go to my podcast notes. And click donate and you can donate as little as$1 just to support my podcast. Or you can, give me a five-star rating. Leave me a five star review. if you're using apple podcasts, Please, please, please support. i want to continue to heal and share with you all on this journey Elevate your mind. Be open to health and wealth. Trust the healing process, sometimes healing hurts, but when completely healed you become a stronger. Wiser and amazing human. That was heavy. Let's relax and breathe. Breathe in love. Breathe out. Love. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in love. Share love. Now, share this podcast to help someone you love I enjoy. interacting with my listeners. Click the support link in the podcast notes to donate and support. See you next self care sunday
