Session 15 Manifest a Longer Life Span by Celebrating Life

Your Host Shyra DeJuan is challenging you to celebrate life and celebrate YOU this year! You deserve to feel worthy, you deserve the spike in your mental health and wealth, and as champions we just love a beneficial life challenge!! This session we will discuss ways for you to positively increase your emotional and mental health. Potentially Decrease a depressive mindset and chronic loneliness. Human connection, social connection and companionship is absolutely necessary for survival. A new life hack for gifts awaits! You will also learn ways to heal from detrimental inner conflict, get the true desires of your heart and live longer! 

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Transcript

0:00

Oh, Smiles champions. Welcome to mind. Elevation health and wealth. I am your host, Shira, Dhawan, and educator, emotional healer and entrepreneur. Each week, we will dig deep into emotionally healing, all aspects of your life to increase your ability to create prosperity and longevity. Mind elevation health and wealth allows you to elevate and shift into a growth mindset. Share each moment with me. I'm giving you permission to fulfill all of the unique desires of your heart. Judgment-free shame-free guilt-free elements to heal your mind and body embrace, unconditional love and keep listening. Healing is health. Health is wealth. You are here on purpose. Session 15. Manifest a longer lifespan by celebrating life. Listen and listen well champions, whether you have faith in God, faith in the universe or faith in self creating healthy social relationships are a major, key to a longer lifespan and longevity. This session, we will discuss ways for you to celebrate life and celebrate you, which will positively increase your emotional and mental health. Potentially decrease your depressive mindset. And chronic loneliness. Human connection, social connection and companionship is absolutely necessary for survival. If you've ever watched the movie titled cast away, this movie is a survival-based drama. Starring Tom Hanks. He is stranded on an island alone. When his loneliness kicks in, he finds a volleyball. The volleyball becomes his personified friend, which he names Wilson. Wilson played a major role in Tom Hanks survival. Another survival-based film titled. I am legend, starring will Smith who survived a deadly virus outbreak, and he's a last normal human living on earth in an apocalypse. When his loneliness kicks in, he finds a department store with mannequins and the mannequins are major role in the film. He even places the mannequins around the city to simulate forms of human interaction. Once again, necessary for his survival. I bring up two survival based films, although they are fictional films. The truth is so evident. We need social relationships and celebration of life for our mental and emotional health. I also conducted a little social experiment with my birthday celebration this year That I'm excited to share with you later on in this podcast. So keep listening. Let's start by reviewing some frequent important vocabulary for this session. Chronic loneliness. Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go long for long period of time, feelings of being alone, separated, or divided from others, not having the ability to connect with others that is chronic. Loneliness. The definition of social isolation. Social isolation is a process in which persons or groups do not have communication with one another. The definition of longevity. Longevity is a long individual life, extreme length and duration of life, or a long duration of service. Think of a time in your life when you felt lonely or you may currently be in a time of your life right now and you feel lonely. You are in need of a strong social connection. You are a need of a strong feeling of belonging. If you're familiar with a psychologist, Abraham Maslow, you know about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. On his pyramid of human needs. He lists belonging and love for human behavioral motivation. Even the strongest introvert desires, companionship, even if it is with just cats or dogs. The crazy cat lady is a reference to an old lady that lives alone with a bunch of cats as her companions, there is a need for some sort of connection. Today, you will discover how your internal conflict may have prevented you or may currently be preventing you from celebrating yourself and celebrating meaningful relationship with other humans. You will also learn that you can live longer by becoming more social. As you age, you have the power to create your own sense of belonging in any environment. Our discussion on manifesting a longer lifespan by celebrating life is directly related to creating a healthy social circle. There are many scientific in psychology articles related to longevity of life and how to live a longer life. And most of them can be summed up with these five major things that are listed. Number one is fitness and wellness. Number two is nutrition. Eating habits. Number three is sleep and resting. Number four is stress management and number five. You guessed it, social relationships. Number 1, 2, 3, and four. You can go listen to mind. Elevation health and wealth podcast, session number five, creating healthy workout and eating habits. That's one of my favorite sessions. But today we're only focused on number five, which is social relationships is one major key to living longer. Let's begin. I have to first give credit to my grandmother, Ms. Maddie McBain. She showed us. The best example of celebrating life and creating social relationships. When I was little, her home was where major holidays were spent many Christmases and Easters at her house. Her purpose was family and friends. Even if family members got into a fight, one holiday, they were still expected to show up and make amends for the next holiday. No grudges held. We were celebrating together by any means. I have adopted much of her energy into my most recent life. Although I have always had many groups of friends, I hadn't always done the best job of celebrating myself every year. I will sometimes do it for milestone birthdays. However, grandma Maddie celebrated her birthday every year. Her life was a celebration. She lived to be 81 years young. We lived in a small town called Evansville, Indiana. Her social circle included her childhood friends, classmates, and family. Her friend group would take turns, hosting card parties in which they each had a dedicated card partner playing the card game bit whiz. She was also in a social organization called the ladies auxiliary. She was also a Legionnaire. She would also travel for a party. So it was no problem for her to get on a charter bus, hop in a car with someone or fly out somewhere to celebrate and party. I have to use her as an example, because for all of my adult life, my grandmother was a single woman who for the most part lived alone, but she was never lonely. She lived. She could have withdrawn from family and friends. She could have been a crazy cat lady. She could have been depressed. Cause most of our friends had husbands and wives, but she took pride. And celebrating life. She created memories for her family and friends enjoying her life as it was. And every moment she was always the life of the party. She passed away in June of 2019. But even when she was taking chemo treatments in sick, she had me take her to her car party at the American Legion. She also had me take her to get Easter baskets for the grandchildren. She prepared Easter dinner when she was sick, her illness still did not prevent her from celebrating and creating memories for those that she loved, she had and created the most exciting social circle of friends and family. There was only one hard part of watching her get older, was watching her lose loved ones that she outlived. We are not all born. As social butterflies, we are not all born as extroverts. We are not all born to be the life of every party, but one thing we all are born with is the need to be loved the need to belong. And the needs to be social. Introverts are listening and cringing with the thought of being overly social. I understand because I have a best friend and a son that are introverts. Introverts don't want a lot of attention and they don't want to be around a lot of people. They don't know. Even when they are around people they're close with, they can only do small doses. I asked my son what is an ideal birthday celebration for him and this was his response Friends family. Like only friends and family. Yeah, I know random. Does it ask you? I need this for my podcast. As you just heard his response. He is the exact opposite of me. He has no desire to meet new people or have randoms at his birthday gathering. He is uncomfortable in clubs settings, but I understand and respect introverts. You can still celebrate yourself. You just do it within your circle of family and friends. However, my best friend and I, and my son and I find balance within our relationship as a parent, I learned how to respect my son's personality type because when he was younger, I would give him parties based upon. Upon my social needs. Okay. I would throw him these big parties with a bunch of people. However, as he got older, I didn't understand why he didn't want a big party anymore. So he began to openly express to me that he does not enjoy social gatherings outside of family and close friends. With the love and respect that I have for his personality type. We found balance in creating his social circles and celebrations. He is still social, but with small gatherings being close with an extrovert, like myself can be challenging, but it has its benefits when there's a balance and an introvert allows the extrovert to navigate their social boundaries. Opposites attract. There's always allow for, and in a quiet friend. Um, the friend is super extra and I love having friends already, even more extra than I am, but I also love having my chill cool and calm friends that like to be in sometimes not always out and about. It is beautiful to balance each other out in these situations with the right level of respect, it works. Isolation of yourself is detrimental. We already defined social isolation. As not communicating with others. So even if you claim to be the most extreme of introverts, don't forget the importance of human interaction. It is so important to gather together with others that there's a verse in the Bible, Matthew 1820 that says something like where two or three people gather. I am there with them. Even the Bible speaks of how important it is to gather socially if you or someone, you know, has withdrawn and begins to isolate themselves from loved ones. It is time for an intervention. It is time to seek professional help. It is not okay to make the negative statement. I'm antisocial. Please stop using that phrase as if it's some cute way to describe yourself, because the reality of that statement is really dangerous when it's used in a clinical context. Antisocial personality disorder is a real thing and it should not be used loosely in lightly. To describe yourself. If you have never been diagnosed with this disorder. If you know someone close to you that may really be violently impulsive, and may be suffering from this disorder, please get them professional help. Which brings me to the overall point that it is not healthy to self isolate. When you are emotionally sad or depressed, it is not safe to isolate yourself from friends and family communication and connection with others is a celebration of life. This is also why it is important to have family dinners together without electronic devices. Even if it is just one day a week. Make it taco Tuesday, my sister and her grandson have taco Tuesday together every Tuesday. It's the cutest family connection that they have and their little celebration. Go ahead and create a family dinner night to celebrate your family together at least once a week without electronic devices. One of my 16 year old students just recently shared with me that she has a closer relationship with her mother now. I asked her what changed? Like what, what changed? She said I got in trouble. My mom took my phone away. So we started talking to each other again, and now we have a closer relationship. So I had to follow up with a clarifying question. I asked. So your mom took your phone away and it actually brought you closer together. She responded? Yes. Because we never really talked before. Cause I was always on my phone. What Houser's champion is like a 16 year old admitted that removing a device from her possession helped her build a healthy relationship with her parent. Some of y'all right now are afraid to take your child's phone away because you think it will ruin your relationship? When actually, if done correctly, it will create a beautiful social bond and celebration of a lifelong relationship with your child The pandemic was so terrifying for some of us due to isolation and increased sense of loneliness. Statistically, this aspect of isolation increased the trauma of mental health issues. This is also what initiated the urgency for the tech companies to update digital social sharing platforms such as zoom and Microsoft teams. Although it may not have been very fun at first. Virtual school was necessary for many students to feel a small sense of normalcy and belonging during the pandemic. Thank God we are back to our regularly scheduled social norms. An active social life will help you live longer, check the statistics. And as usual, be open to do your own fact checking. Uh, people with strong social connections may live longer and healthier lives. According to numerous studies, for example, research about an unusually long living population on the island of Sardinia. Italy has showed that strong ties to family and friends along with frequent. Physical activity may contribute to their longevity. According to a May 9th, 2019 CNN article, the CNN article also mentioned a recent review of 148 studies found that people who are isolated face a 50% greater risk of premature deaths than those who have stronger social connections. Lisa Berkman director of Harvard center for population and development studies and Thomas Colbert, a professor of public policy at Harvard side of other studies that have suggested that social isolation carries a risk of mortality. That similar to that of other major risk factors like smoking cigarettes, Birkman said that the stress of isolation can weaken people's immune systems, making them more susceptible to infectious diseases. She also noted that people with strong social connections have better health behaviors, like eating healthy foods and being physically active. The number of Americans living beyond their 100th birthday has been climbing steadily since the start of the 21st century, a new CDC report, which track mortality among a hundred somethings. Started in 2000 shows that while it's still uncommon. The number of Americans above the age of 100 has increased more than 43% from 50,281, a decade and a half ago to 72,197 in 2014, which is great news for me because one of my long-term life goals is to throw my son, his 80th birthday party with his small circle of friends that will still be living. Okay. Which means I will be at my best at age 100 and that's only 56 years from now. So that's not very long. Let's review some of the negative stigma relating to building connections with others. I've heard people say things like I left that job because the people working there all had their little cliques and they weren't including me in their little cliques. And I felt left out. Ladies gentlemen. Life is not really like the bad girls club. Be open to include yourself into the clinics. Be open to be long. On purpose. I purposefully include myself in almost every department in my school. You can catch me everywhere. I'd be in the math department, history department, science department, social studies department, fine arts department. The library. I be chilling with the front office clerks. I hang out with the food service crew. I have conversations about being ready for the weekend with our custodial staff. I actively build connections on purpose. I don't wait to be invited. I don't think I'm excluded because no one has a sign on their door that says our department only. So I don't make a negative assumption that I'm not welcome. Sometimes we make negative assumptions about being left out or excluded when we haven't even attempted to be included or to try to belong. Most people are welcoming, but only if you bring good energy. In life. I have many different friend groups from childhood friends that are now like family to people that I met maybe five to 10 years ago that are now my family, to my coworkers that are now like family. Be open to build relationships with intention, not just because it will make you live longer, but because it just feels amazing to the soul. If you haven't before just start small. I'm just a special kind of extra when it comes to relationship building. So don't mind me, but at least work towards building those social connections. Every person in your life serves a divine purpose, belonging, and loving her. Onuses be okay with celebrating all of your major accomplishments in life. Celebrate another year of life. Another year of sobriety, buying a home, buying an investment property, starting a business, getting married, having a baby, starting a new job. Graduating high school, graduating college, graduating grad school wedding anniversaries, getting an overdue divorce, celebrate all things that are life changing. When you celebrate a wedding anniversary couples. Plan your anniversaries together as a team and stop creating unnecessary relationship trauma by waiting for your partner to forget your anniversary. That is toxic behavior. If you know your anniversary's coming, don't call your best friend and seek pity and say our wedding anniversary is coming up. And my person's probably going to forget again this year. You shouldn't be calling your best friend. You should be calling your partner and saying with excitement, babe, our anniversary is coming up. Let's plan our celebration together. I have a cousin that has been married for years, her and her husband planning, annual anniversary vacation together. They value travel and it celebrates their union. Anniversaries are not about who remembers and who forgets. It's about celebrating continuous love for each other year after year. A celebration of love. I just felt healing power in that statement for someone listening. If you are in a relationship, don't expect your significant other to do everything for your celebration. That's a lot of pressure to put on one person. If they enjoy taking over and doing everything, go ahead and allow it. But don't put an unreasonable expectation on one person. Someone listening is thinking, well, this is just how I am. Whenever you set your mind to, this is just how I am. You create an attachment to never change. You will develop a fear that breaking this attachment will cause disruption and who you are, how you identify and how you are viewed by others. Free yourself from this limiting mindset. Of inner conflict. Some of us are currently struggling with inner conflict. Don't confuse your inner thoughts with your outer reaction by sending mixed messages to people that you love. You must believe that you are worthy of celebrating. If you are unsure of your worthiness, or if you are waiting for someone else to recognize you, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Y'all need an example of inner conflict. Here's an example. You want something special for your special day, but you don't want to do it yourself. You want someone close to you to do it for you? But instead of you just saying that when someone close to you as, Hey, what are you wanting to do for your special day? And you respond outward. I don't really want to do anything special this year. But your inner thought is unless someone plans something special for me. People are not my readers. You sent a mixed message because if your person is respectful of your desires, that you spoke to them, they're going to react to your outward response, which was, I don't really want to do anything special. So when no one does anything special for your birthday, you start holding resentment or the people you love because no one planned anything special for you. Now, you big mad, you had expectations that someone was surprised you with something special and it didn't happen because you said you didn't want it. Now your inner peace is hurting and conflicted due to your own mixed message. You fail to set and express real expectations outwardly to the people that you love. For some reason we have created this inner lie that if they love me, they should know and just do it. The truth is everyone may not know, and they may respect your spoken wishes. When we are real together, we heal together, heal from inner conflict. Get the true desires of your heart and live longer. Hey you, the champion for life changes. I'm challenging you to celebrate life and celebrate you this year. You deserve to feel worthy. You deserve the spike in your mental health and wealth. And as champions, we just love a great beneficial life challenge. I know people do different cultural things and expectations for birthdays and holidays. However, these suggestions that I'm about to share are coming from a culture of wellness and the wellness culture. We will celebrate ourselves with self-love and affirmations. Let me remind you all the word manifest in the title of this session was so intentional. I absolutely love the power of prayer and manifestation. It is like the secret that has never been a secret, but for some reason, people are afraid to tap into that deep part of faith. The power of it is real. So I just do it all the time. And you're about to see how it worked for beyond my birthday experiment. I can't wait for one of my listeners to try something similar to what I did for my birthday and share with me on an Instagram message. So here it goes. I mentioned earlier that I did a little social experiment for my birthday on Friday, March the 24th, 2023. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, thank you. The social experiment was basically how to one manifests an amazing birthday celebration to receive all of the gifts I want. And three. Collect birthday money instead of spending my own money. For having a successful social gathering. I was able to accomplish all four things by openly expressing my birthday expectations. I'm going to share with you how to manifest an amazing social gathering for any occasion while celebrating life and celebrating yourself. For the past couple years, I've dedicated my birthday to health goals or motivating people. I love to do a birthday workout challenge for my birthday. Last year, I even had an extreme fitness birthday workout party. Some years before I kind of stopped celebrating and wouldn't really do anything for my birthday. Some people complain of never getting what they want for their birthday or spending their own money for their birthday party. Sometimes celebrating your own birthday can become a bit of a hassle and you still only end up with a hangover. Okay. So. Many people in my inner circle have birthdays in March. In fact, my son's birthday is in March. So with this experiment, keep in mind that the results are not, that I'm loved more than any other March birthday. It's just that I set higher celebration expectations for my birthday this year. Remember this key point, people that love you will treat you based upon the energy you create for yourself. So you must create a high vibration, celebratory energy way before the day of the event. Okay. That's the law of attraction. That's creating high vibrations. Step one. The first part of the experiment. A week before your event tell everyone and remind everyone your event is coming. This year, my birthday happened to be on a Friday. The Friday was also a work day. Although I could have taken the day off, there was no way I could do that. And miss out on the birthday quality time with my students and coworkers. Plus I spent over a week reminding them that my birthday was coming up. Step two. Although my love language is words of affirmation and quality time. My experiment is to receive all the birthday gifts I want. Here is a life hack for saving money. Create an Amazon wishlist for your event. My nephew did this for his house and warming. It was a perfect idea. What's a birthday party without gifts though. Right? Plus I love saving money. So I went to Amazon and build up my Amazon shopping cart with everything I wanted and created a wish list, link to share with my close friends and family. We already have a whole family group chat on messenger. So I simply posted the link in that group chat a couple of days before my birthday. The link was another reminder to my family, that my birthday's coming up. Sending that celebrate me energy. The great thing about this is you get gifts you want ans you get other gifts from people that you didn't send. The wishlist to. Those are called bonus gifts. If you need help setting up your Amazon wishlist, send me an Instagram message and I will help you through the steps of setting it up and adding additional items. If you forget to add something. Step three, this part of the experiment is collecting money. This is optional, but if your complaint is that you don't like spending your own money on your birthday, this right here resolves it. Take a cute birthday safety pin or just a regular safety pin. In my case, I was given a nice owl pen because I love owls and I pinned a dollar to my shirt. When people see the money on your shirt, they are compelled to share monetary love with you. Somehow by the end of the night, I was gifted a hundred dollar bill and it was pinned on my shirt. That's so awesome. Step four. Of the experiment was to have a successful social gathering. First you have to find a great location for your event. Since you don't want to spend your own money, find a place that's free with lots of seating and specials. People love specials. This was the one I had to properly plan. I wanted to be convenient for the people I love and wanted it to still be a benefit for those that I love. So what amazing group of people did I choose? I chose my coworkers after all. I spent most of my time with them anyway, so I know my coworkers are always down for a stress-relief party on a Friday after work. And after a semi stressful work week. So I sent out a group, text and text messages to all my coworkers, inviting them to my birthday celebration immediately after work, I sent the name and the location of the event. And throughout the day, I would see them and express that. Full out celebratory energy. Can't wait to see you tonight. We need these. They were all in. I also had some height men in the group message that were expressing how they can wait for the stress relief. Perfect. Now, keep in mind. You can also do separate events based on friend groups this year, I didn't plan anything extra. I only celebrated with coworkers, but I did have friends that I celebrated with before my birthday. And, after my birthday. I did not purposefully exclude anyone. This was just the easiest for me and for my time. I made it home before 11:00 PM on a Friday night. I'm an older lady now I can't be staying out until 3:00 AM anymore. The success of my celebratory manifestation. Here are the results. Because you want to know what happened? Did everything get manifested correctly? Yes. Number one. Yes. I had an amazing birthday celebration before my birthday, on my birthday and after my birthday, number two. Yes, I received all of the gifts on my Amazon wishlist. Every day I came home from work. There were Amazon packages left. I recorded myself opening the gifts and sent the recording to the person that sent the gift. That was extra exciting and fun. Most of my family is out of town, so it worked out. I also got several bonus gifts from coworkers and friends. Experiment three. Yes. I collected birthday money and did not spend my own money on my birthday. I even ordered appetizers for the table by using some of the money pin to my shirt. I set my expectation to receive at least$44 since it was my 44th birthday. But by the end of the night, I received$218. Also a promoter happened to be at the event location and said freebies to our table. That is the power of manifestation. Experiment number four. Yes. I had a successful social gathering with my coworkers at a table full of overworked and underpaid educators. We had a wonderful evening. I think a total of 18 to 20 of my coworkers were there to celebrate me and some were there to celebrate surviving a rough week. It doesn't matter which they showed up. Each of our birthdays are a celebration of life. Love and continuous longevity. Please make sure to celebrate yourself. Try that manifestation that I did. And let me know how it works for you by sending me an Instagram message. I have to say this because I really want to express what brought me tears of joy on my birthday. My favorite gifts. Where the words of affirmation and my birthday cards. I woke up to a beautiful text message from one of my best friends. I actually emailed myself the text message and printed the text message. So I could hang it on my words of affirmation wall. I needed it so much. I was going to read it on the podcast, but I decided that it is personally for me and my joy. So get your own best friends. Then when I made it to work, I received handwritten letters and handmade cards from my students. All of which made me cry. Happy tears. I cried so much that morning. I had to keep saying these are happy tears. Y'all y'all these are happy tears. The words of affirmation that were carefully and thoughtfully written to me were a constant reminder of why I'm working in my passion. Why I will continue to work on my own mindset of growth and elevate the minds of those I love and why being an educator is so important. Keep catering to my love language champions. If you enjoy this celebration of life or longevity session. Please write a review or give me five stars so that I can continue to create content for mental health prosperity and longevity. I'm also still accepting birthday donations. So you can click on the link in the podcast notes to donate and support this podcast, or it can be a monetary birthday gift. Each week. I promote. A book and Arthur's that have impacted my life or helped me heal by increasing my knowledge and awareness of experiences outside of my own. The book. Belonging. The science of creating social connection and bridging divides by Joffrey L Cohen. In this book about belonging. Stanford university professor Jeffrey Cohen applies his, and others' groundbreaking research to the myriad of problems of communal existence and offers concrete solutions for improving daily life. Answering questions such as why do one in five Americans suffer from chronic loneliness? How do we become so alienated? Why is our sense of belonging? So undermined, What if there were a set of science backed techniques for navigating modern social life that could help us overcome our differences, create empathy and forge, lasting connections, even across the divides. Professor Jeffrey Cohen describes how we all feel a deep need to belong, but most of us don't fully appreciate that need in others. Often we behave in ways that threaten others sense of belonging. Yes, small acts that establish connection, brief activities, such as reflecting on our core values and many other practices that Cohen defines as situation crafting have been shown to lessen political division, improve motivation and performance in school and work combat racism in our communities, enhance health and wellbeing and unleash the potential in ourselves. And in our relationships, belonging is essential for managers, educators, parents, administrators, caregivers, and everyone who wants those around them to thrive. Remember to click the link in my podcast notes for this book to purchase this book for you or to purchase this book for someone you love. You are now a champion for healing and change. When we are real together, we heal together. If you are like me and you want to make a light change by making grocery shopping easy, I shop using Instacart. And get my groceries delivered in as little as one hour. This comes in handy as I'm making my plant-based recipes. Save yourself. That trip to the market is the cart delivers groceries in as fast as one hour, they connect you with a personal shopper. In your area to shop in delivery groceries from your favorite stores, click on the link in my podcast notes and get free delivery on your first order of over$35. Champions also remember in order for me to keep this podcast going to continue healing and helping with mental health for mind, elevation, please go to my podcast notes. And click donate and you can donate as little as$1 just to support my podcast. Or you can, give me a five-star rating. Leave me a five star review. if you're using apple podcasts, Please, please, please support. i want to continue to heal and share with you all on this journey Elevate your mind. Be open to health and wealth. Trust the healing process, sometimes healing hurts, but when completely healed you become a stronger. Wiser and amazing human. That was heavy. Let's relax and breathe. Breathe in love. Breathe out. Love. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in love. Share love. Now, share this podcast to help someone you love I enjoy. interacting with my listeners. Click the support link in the podcast notes to donate and support. See you next self care sunday