Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Mind Elevation: Health and Wealth
Session 18: Living and Dying With Healthy Regrets
Your Host Shyra DeJuan (ShyTheHealer) is challenging you to elevate your mind so you are able to heal from toxic regret and remorse. You have the ability to be living and dying with healthy regrets! Being able to feel regret helps you work through remorse.
Learn the healthy ways to live with regret and you will begin to accept your life choices and decisions by understanding. You must decisions based on what is in front of you at that moment, during whatever the circumstances were at that time. Understanding that the very thing we may have this strong desire to go back and change was actually divinely necessary for that moment in time. It was meant to happen that way! Don’t make yourself go crazy by questioning, doubting and second guessing what happened. Bring yourself back to the present and reality by understanding this healthy thing about life: EVERYTHING HAPPENS A CERTAIN WAY FOR A SPECIFIC REASON AND YOU MAY NEVER KNOW WHY, BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP LIVING, GROWING AND LEARNING!
Donate & Support Shyra DeJuan’s Podcast
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/79wdgzhfdwp
Youtube Link
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTH9_qbqsau1d-2BLkw0XfDIgRKGMznqw
Purchase this Book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
Instacart - Groceries delivered in as little as 1 hour
Free delivery on your first order over $35
Save yourself that trip to the market — Instacart delivers groceries in as fast as 1 hour! They connect you with Personal Shoppers in your area to shop and deliver groceries from your favorite stores.
https://www.instacart.com/instacart-plus
Did this podcast inspire you to create your own podcast! Use this link to create your account on buzzsprout! Buzzsprout makes it easy!
https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2071369
Follow Me on Instagram send a video or voice message about your healing journey: I'm on Instagram as shythehealer. DM Me your healing journey!
https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=ps65ixdo89ap&utm_content=kww2cv0
Donate and Support Link:
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/79wdgzhfdwp
All smiles champions. Welcome to mind elevation health and wealth. I am your host Shira. The wan and educator, emotional healer and entrepreneur, each week, we will dig deep into emotionally healing, all aspects of your life to increase your ability to create prosperity and longevity. Mind elevation health and wealth allows you to evaluate and shift into a growth mindset. Share each moment with me, I'm giving you permission to fulfill all of the unique desires of your heart judgment free shame-free guilt-free elements to heal your mind and body. Embrace unconditional love and keep listening. Healing is health. Health is wealth. You are here on purpose. Session 18. Living and dying with healthy regrets. Listen and listen well champions, whether you have faith in God, faith in the universe or faith in itself, this session, we will discuss how you can have a positive mindset on living with regrets and with the right practice, you can die with no regrets. I know, it sounds a little crazy, but most mindset shifts seem crazy until you actively live it. Champions, please continue to send messages to my Instagram page at Shai, the healer. S H Y T H E H E a L E R. I love hearing your testimonies of your mind. Elevation. I also love to reply to each and every message. Forgive me when I have a delay response. It's only because I limit my life to healthy social media consumption. The link to my Instagram is listed in the podcast notes. Also for those of you that have requested my podcast to be listed on YouTube mind, elevation health and wealth podcast is now on YouTube. Please go to my channel and subscribe. Okay. I think I only have like one subscriber. It took me six months to finally do it, but I did it. I listened to my listeners and follow through. Now it is up to my dedicated listeners to go subscribe to my YouTube channel. The link will also be in the podcast notes. Please share the YouTube link with your friends and family that prefer to listen from YouTube. Search shy, the healer or search mind elevation health and wealth podcast. Or you can press pause right now. Open up the podcast notes, scroll to the YouTube link, click on it and click subscribe. Multitaskers, you can just go to the notes without pressing pause, click the link and subscribe. In fact, you probably have already done it before I could finish this sentence. Thank you for your support. This is how we successfully reach a larger audience and elevate more minds for health and wealth. I'm totally aware that this session is going to bring up a lot of old stuff that happened in your life that you regret. It may be anything from a time you didn't stand up for someone being bullied or you not saying something special to someone before they passed away, or you not choosing the career path, you always wanted to pursue This session is not to stop the emotions of regret and remorse. Not at all because living without the strong emotions of regret and remorse means you have an unhealthy mind and are more likely to do destructive and damaging things to family, friends, and others. So keep in mind that regret and remorse are both signs of a very healthy mind. We're going to discuss how to live a healthy life. After your regrets. So you can view regret in a healthy and productive manner, but you will no longer allow regret to be toxic to your mind. Relationships and happiness. Allowing regret to impact you negatively can increase your level of stress, lower your immune system. Cause overwhelming rumination causing lack of sleep, psychological anxiety, texts, many things that this can cause. So we're going to define rumination. Rumination is the act of continuously and repeatedly pondering or musing something in your mind. First let's also understand the difference between regret and remorse, because we will be discussing them both as a unit, both very similar, but also very different. The definition of regret. Is what you feel for yourself to feel sorrow for an act fault, disappointment and dissatisfaction. The definition of remorse is what you've done to others. It's a deep, painful regret for wrongdoing or mistake. Remorse as needed for a healthy mind. Regret can be like a defense mechanism of the mind learning to live with healthy regret, with practice of learning from our mistakes. It gets easier because if we allow ourselves to make mistakes, we will learn from the mistakes and then we will make less mistakes. Regret can show up when you start second guessing what happened yesterday or weeks ago, or some of us may still have regrets from childhood actions. You may still be ruminating on what you should have done, what you should've said, how you should have said it. Why you, why did you choose to stay? Why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you just. Ah, over and over replaying in your mind. I just got overwhelmed by thinking about overwhelming ruminations Before I started practicing meditation. I would be awake all night ruminating about something that happened at work or when I was going through my divorce or going through a breakup, I would ruminate about what we could have done to make it work, what that person did to me or what I did to them or what I could have not done or what they could have not said. What I've could have not said to them. Overwhelming thoughts and rumination not only prevent you from sleeping, it can also cause you to do some insane things. When I first started teaching, I would ruminate on what I did wrong in a lesson, how the lesson could have been better. What I should have taught, what questions I could have answered my mind would go on and on and on. But now as an experienced teacher, I now understand that I can fix my lesson the same day with the next class. My first period class always gets the worst lesson. By the end of the day, though, the lesson is revised and the mistakes are corrected. We can do the same thing in our real life lessons instead of ruminating on what could have happened. We can just fix it the next time, because we cannot change the past. No matter how much we keep thinking about it, no going back. But if we are still breathing, we can keep moving forward. The decisions you made, you can still live a healthy life, whether it is a good decision or a bad decision. We cannot talk about regret and remorse without talking about the extreme negative side of regret and remorse. And that is directly related to when someone has hurt you or a family member, and you want them to feel regret and remorse. We often wonder what is in the mind of a person that can just go to the extremes of hurting others without remorse. They don't regret inflicting the pain. They have no remorse for others, but they may regret getting caught. Some don't have remorse for others, or they don't have regret from getting caught. So I did research on the psychological effects of criminals that live without regret or remorse. Those of you that love shows like criminal minds. You're going to have an aha moment as you listen. I found an article published by the guardian titled regret can seriously damage your mental health. Here's how to leave it behind by Betsy Reed. The editor of guardian. Criminals that originally had no remorse. The ones that actually went through extreme psychological therapy when they were repaired from the psychological damage from neglect and abuse in their younger lives, actually start to become more focused on others. Then themselves. And they grow a sense of regret and remorse after healing from their own trauma. We see people in courtrooms. And the first thing we say is they have no remorse. Not understanding the person has a totally different mentality and mindset from those of us who actually have the capacity to feel remorse. The psychologist mentioned that when they would reach a breakthrough of remorse from the criminals that had never felt regret or remorse or never shed one tear for the pain they caused After the healing process of the criminals psychologist recorded, the criminal would start crying uncontrollably. As a healing human, we must think of being able to experience remorse as a gift, because if you did not feel this strong emotion or remorse, you would probably be able to do horrific, harmful, hateful, and dangerous things to others. Kind of like the criminals that we see. We don't want that. Now that we just left the mind of criminals, let's discuss the different types of regret we may be holding on to. There are so many, but I'm going to list the six with some brief examples that I think are major. I'm also being transparent here. These six regrets. Have all affected me in some way, as you listen, you will also start thinking about how these types of regrets may be affecting you or has affected you in the past, but don't get too wrapped up into your thoughts because just like every challenge in your life, you will overcome. That is the reason you are still attentively listening. Number one was moral regrets. These are the regrets where you're doing the morally wrong thing, bullying or not taking action. When someone is being bullied, mistreated, or hurt, feeling bad for not providing support for someone in need. Those are moral regrets. Number two, our health regrets. These are the types of regrets where you're getting diagnosed with a health issue and not doing what's best for your health, many cigarette smokers, regret smoking for so long after being diagnosed with lung cancer, the list can go on and on with health regrets, but please don't wait until a diagnosis to make that change and have those regrets. Number three is career regrets. Those are the regrets where people are settling and not chasing their dreams or their career goals. Some people regret. Choosing a career that a parent wanted from them instead of their own desires or some people regret staying in generational poverty due to fear of success. Even though they had the desire and the talent to leave, they stayed. So they have those career regrets. Number four. Financial regrets. W these other regrets financially, when people are realizing they. Are close to retirement age and they didn't save for retirement or regrets of not saving for emergencies or regrets. After making an impulse buy of something you really couldn't afford or gambling loss regrets, or that person that accumulates too much debt. And then they're in regret or not doing a budget. When you knew you should've stuck to a budget, you already listened to session four mind, elevation health and wealth, creating a healthy relationship with money, but you never started your budget. And now you are living with. That regret. If you haven't listened to episode, go listen to session four and take action. So you don't have any more financial regrets. Okay. Number five was human connection, regrets, not communicating with friends or family then realizing life is short disconnection from people you love being a workaholic and missing out on beautiful moments and connections with beautiful people in your life, those human connection, regrets, or not saying something to someone that you met or wondering if maybe if I would have tried out this relationship or try to make that connection, things would have worked better. Those are. Human connection regrets. Or maybe if I would have connected with this person, I would've gotten that job. And networking regrets. And finally, number six, parenting regrets, choosing work over your children or yelling and being harsh and abusive, or comparing your children and showing favoritism to a certain child, or maybe even the regret of dismissing your child's real emotions. With that. Uh, psychologist shared a story. Of one of his patients, the patient was a man that had chosen work over his family. Missed out on his children's lives and events. He was never available for his wife. He was just a good old financial provider giving money and not giving time. It caused a divorce. He didn't have a personal relationship with any of his children. So after the divorce, his health declined and he started having panic attacks or anxiety attacks. He didn't know why. So he started going to therapy. That was a great decision. The therapist discovered this man was a workaholic because of his childhood and listening to the patient. The man discussed that his family suffered in poverty and his father could never provide financially for him when he was a child. So when his own adulthood, he overworked to financially provide for his family, failing to realize that he was losing in the process. He may have felt like he was more of a man than his own father, by being able to financially provide for his. His family. In a way to cope with his childhood trauma. But in dealing with his own trauma, he created a neglectful trauma to his own family. After the divorce and the separation from his family psychologically, he started to experience anxiety attacks due to toxic regret. With therapy. He was able to accept that he could not change the mistake of his past, but his therapist helped him through the process of reconnecting and apologizing to his ex wife and his children. The psychologist was able to diagnose that the anxiety attacks were a psychological effect that was caused by negatively holding on to regret. When the patient reconnected with his family, he was healed from the anxiety. Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. His children were still alive and well, his ex wife was open to forgiveness. He had time to catch up for all of the last time when he was a workaholic. However, Some of us forget life is short and we won't allow ourselves to properly heal and cope in a healthy manner. This man could have easily just found an unhealthy way to cope. Stay disconnected from his family and. And died alone without that bonding. Which happens so often. Which brings me to the book. Written by a hospice nurse. By the name of Bonnie, where Bonnie wrote about the top five regrets. She heard from people as they were on their death bed. This list was of the most common that she would hear as people were dying. I love to read books that allow me to experience life outside of my own. And this has to be the most life changing. We don't like to talk about or think about death dying or just the end of life. But there is so much we can learn from those that are near death. Who better to teach us how to live than one who is dying. Champions when we are real together, we heal together. The link to this book can be found in the podcast notes, click on the link to purchase. The book is titled the top five regrets of dying. A life transformed by the dearly departing. Number one was. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Number two. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Number three. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Number four. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Number five. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier. Now let's reflect over all five of those. I know your mind started reflecting as I read each one. As I stated earlier, this session is really going to force you to think about how you have lived your life and old things that happened in your life. But now let's think about how you will live your life. Moving forward. This will serve as our session. Regret, recaps, regret. Number one. Was, I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Now reflection, many of us are currently in a situation right now because it was the expectation for someone else, not something you want it to do or be. You may be hiding who you are because of the expectations of how the world may view you. Have the courage to live in your true self while you are still breathing. Regret number two. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Some people overwork with little rewards. Some people literally work themselves to death. Some people work so hard. They don't have time to even live in the United States. That is a normal way of life. However, in other countries, they work to live. Instead of live to work. It is time for you to decide. Are you going to work yourself all the way to death? Are you going to allow yourself time to just live? I don't know about y'all, but I'm already working on my financial freedom for early retirement while I'm working now, I still take time to enjoy life outside of work. Or if you are blessed to have a career that is very rewarding part of your life. Always remind yourself of your purpose when it gets tough. I just recently had a situation happen at work, forcing me to be reminded of my divine purpose work to live while you are still living. Regret number three. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Let's reflect. Some may hold in feelings of anger to keep peace and some may hold them feelings of pain to spare someone else's feelings while withholding. Our own. Being angry and sad in silence causes detrimental resentment. Some may even be afraid to openly share their feelings of gratitude and the strongest one. Some may not have the courage to share their feelings of love. Imagine deeply loving someone and never being able to express your love to that person before you pass away. Express your feelings while you can steal. Feel. Regret number four. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Childhood friendships are called golden friendships. Everyone misses their friends when they are nine, losing touch with a childhood friend or not knowing how to reach them or contact them is painful. But imagine just losing touch with people that hold a special place in your heart and you don't reach out miss out on quality time or just stay too busy to make the extra time. These are precious moments that we can take advantage of while we are still here after. After listening to this podcast plan some quality time with your long lost friend. If they are all the way across the world, FaceTime them. If you don't have an iPhone use, whatever video app you have to use and, and do a lot of video chat. Reconnect with your golden friends while life is still golden. Regret number five. I wish I had allow myself to be happier. This is a reminder that happiness is a choice. And staying in your bad habits and old ways. Keep you unhappy, being afraid to change as an excuse to stay in pain. Pretending to be. Okay. And you really aren't, isn't working for you anymore. Allow yourself to be happy, heal your heart while it's still beating. Laughter and humor is a necessary part of mental health and healing. The trend we see in all five of the regrets is having the courage living life with no regrets, simply means living your life with a positive boldness to do all of the great things you want and feel, be brave enough to live courageously. Hey you, the champion for live changes, I'm challenging you to elevate your mind so that you are able to heal from toxic regret and remorse. And so you have the ability to be living and dying with healthy regrets. Being able to feel regret helps you work through remorse after learning the healthy ways to live with regret, you will begin to accept your decisions by understanding you had to make your decision based on what was in front of you at that moment during whatever the circumstances were at that time. Understanding that the very thing we may have this strong desire to go back and change was actually divinely necessary for that moment in time. It was meant to happen that way. Don't make yourself go crazy by questioning doubting and second guessing what happened. Bring yourself back to the present and reality by understanding this healthy thing about life. Everything happens a certain way for a specific reason. And you may never know why, but you have to keep living, growing and learning. I got to repeat that. That's the reality about life. Everything happens a certain way for a specific reason. And you may never know why, but you have to keep living, growing and learning. Whatever has been going on currently in your life that you do not have control over that you cannot change. It is time to stop holding yourself hostage. Give yourself grace and compassion today by reminding yourself that you did all that you could with what was presented to you in that moment, and you will be better prepared at a later time. Making statements to yourself. Like if I get it wrong, I'll find a way to do it in a different way next time, but I won't give up or make a statement to yourself like this. I did a hurtful thing dealing with my own trauma, but I'm going to apologize and repair the damage I caused. Or maybe something like this. I was not created to self-sabotage. I was created to learn and grow from my mistakes. It may sound something like this to you. I am a champion for life change and I will live to learn from my regrets and not die with toxic regrets. Remember that there is always a foundation of your true personality and your true positive image. You have to find it. You have to look for it. You have to choose to be happy. I was recently met with a challenge at work, and a quote was used to describe an aspect of another person's personality. That description was this. Deep down. They really are a good person. Now the time I was hurt and I wasn't wanting to dig deep and find the good in that person. But after prayer, meditation and reflection, I realized that one's behavior can be deeply rooted in their past experiences. Some may negatively affect large groups of people before they are healed. We only have control of our own response to their behavior. So when knowing that we can offer a silent forgiveness, because we must understand that the person with the hard gruff and bad exterior usually develop that hardness because that person needs that hardness to protect the sensitive, soft, and good interior. We must give grace to those people that appear mean and hard and rough on the outside because. As was quoted to me deep down, they really are good people. Just like the psychological healing of the criminal that was forced to feel remorse or the father that was healed and able to reconnect with his family. We are all going through something and it may be projected onto others, whether it is at work at home or within a secret life. From the great wisdom and words of Yana Vanzant, the prefix re means to do again. You can repeat a lesson. You can regroup after a setback, you can restructure your life. If it falls apart, you can reposition yourself in any situation, you can recreate your image. If it's been damaged, you can redeem your character. You can recover from your losses. There is never in a reason to live with real. Remorse or regret when you consider that every life experience is a rehearsal for the next, refine your thinking and reform your life. Now that's mind elevation. You are now a champion for healing and change. When we are real together, we heal together. If you are like me and you want to make a life change by making grocery shopping easy, I stopped using Instacart and I get my groceries delivered in as little as one hour. This comes in handy as I'm making my plant-based recipes. Save yourself that trip to the market. Instacart delivers groceries in as fast as one hour, they connect you with a personal shopper in your area to shop and deliver groceries from your favorite stores. Click on the link in my podcast notes and get free delivery on your first order. Over$35. Also, don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel, do that right now, by going to the podcast notes, clicking the link to subscribe. I only have one subscriber. Come on. Y'all you got to get my numbers up. The month of may is mental health awareness month. So if you know someone that may be struggling, please share positive thoughts and share positive energy. Please remember that when you support the promotions in my podcast notes, you are also directly supporting this podcast. You can also click my donate and support link in the podcast notes to make a direct donation. Your donation proceeds, go to mental health awareness. Elevate your mind. Be open to health and wealth. Trust the healing process, sometimes healing hurts, but when completely healed you become a stronger. Wiser and amazing human. That was heavy. Let's relax and breathe. Breathe in love. Breathe out. Love. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in love. Share love. Now, share this podcast to help someone you love I enjoy. interacting with my listeners. Click the support link in the podcast notes to donate and support. See you next self care sunday
